Coming Home
by Calico0128
Summary: FINAL CHAPTER Chuckie's back home, facing his fears, but his aren't the only one he's facing and he's struggling to understand the Tommy he's come back to. TommyChuckie Officially slash!
1. And Here We Are

To all my Beloved fans!!! Or uhm… people who happen upon this fanfiction!!!

This is my very first Rugrats fanfiction but hopefully not my last (I already have a sequel in mind, plus a whole other idea, as well)

This is a Tommy/Chuckie slash fic, so if you don't approve, please leave at once (actually go ahead and stay for awhile cuz it's just a friendship fic for right now!) Anyways, I didn't think there was enough of this around and I just luff them so much!!! Uhm… the first chappie is pretty short and is just an intro to catch your attention.. heh, I'll stop talking now.

Love you all!

Disclaimer: I don't own anything but my ideas!

* * *

Charles Randall Finster was struggling to stay awake as he drove the 500 miles to his hometown. Halfway there, and 4 hours since he'd gotten the call from Kimi about their father being in the hospital. His cell phone sat on his thigh, set at its highest volume and on vibrate. The radio was on an R&B station and set so low he could barely hear it over the 'hum' of the engine. He periodically grabbed the phone with his right hand and held it up the rearview light to make sure he hadn't missed a call. He never had. Kimi had left a single message on his phone and he hadn't been able to contact her after that. He wasn't sure whether it was even necessary for him to drive these 500 miles at all. And so he was, and with nothing but his thoughts to keep him company.

He hadn't been in town since his 22nd birthday, and his last year of college. He had moved to Washington, D.C. when he got a job offer as a computer analyst for the government. Of course, it was supposed to be a temporary position, a sort of apprenticeship, but he'd been there for 2 years. At first he called everyone periodically but soon it was his father that called every week just to catch up and Kimi maybe once or twice a month. And sometimes Tommy even called to talk, but that was once every two months at most.

At the moment he was trying to get his thoughts in order for what he would say when he saw Kimi, who should have called back by now, whatever the situation. He jerked as the tires hit the turtles on the freeway and he jumped back into his lane. He'd never been much of a night driver, why couldn't emergencies come up in the middle of the day, not when you were just leaving work? Why'd it always have to be so damned inconvenient? He'd forgotten to call his supervisor before 5 and so he wouldn't be able to call in until 5 the next morning and he wasn't in the mood to hear her piss and moan about his irresponsible behavior. She'd have to understand, whether she wanted to or not. Too many people in the office liked him and knew he was reliable. He jumped again as the annoying 'thud-thud-thud' hit him and he jerked back into his lane, ignoring the angry horn of someone who'd gotten scared.

He caught a glimpse of the signs for the next off ramp and saw both a Starbucks and a Shell. He needed gas anyway, hopefully the Starbucks was 24 hours, otherwise he'd have to get one of those bitter double shots that didn't work was a well as a combination of sugar and coffee. He made the off ramp and spent a good ten minutes looking for the supposed convenient gas station and coffee shop. He found them with much second-guessing, discovered the Starbucks was closed, and muttered a bit before grabbing a double shot and getting his gas. He downed the drink while he waited for the pump and did a bit of stretching until it popped out. He hated Kimi right now, but for some reason it didn't surprise him, maybe he'd always hated her and her irresponsible behavior and disregard for others. Maybe he just needed some sleep. With a heavy sigh, he continued on his drive and blindly made his way back home and wondered what was waiting for him.

He arrived at 2 in the morning. He didn't even know he was there until he found himself in front of his old home. All the lights were off, as he'd expected and he put his Honda accord in park before climbing out, limbs creaking at the sudden movement, and he gave a yawn more akin to a grunt as he stretched. He went up the walk and looked at his key ring, then sighed as he realized he'd left his old home key in D.C. He tried the knob, found it locked, and then decidedly, pounded on the door. If Dad was here, then he'd answer; if Kimi was here, well then, he'd enjoy waking her up. Mom was in Japan visiting some family so he wouldn't be bothering her. There was no noise or movement from behind the door as he waited. He pulled his cell from his pocket and called the house, no one answered. With a grunt, he walked back to his car. He could sleep in the accord.

He got in, but instead of reclining the seat and closing his eyes, he put the key in the ignition and started the car. He drove, aimlessly, he thought, until he saw Tommy's new house. One that he'd bought after the accident. He and Dil had lived there until the younger brother was accepted at the University of California in Berkeley. Now Dil visited every time he had the chance, which Tommy had said wasn't often. Chuckie found Tommy's beat up Corolla in the driveway, where else would it be at 2 am on a Thursday, but then again, this was Tommy he was talking about. He put the car in park and climbed out once again, walking up to the front door. He tapped lightly, the old Tommy might have been up just watching TV or jotting down ideas for screenplays. Now, he didn't know.

He tapped again on the door, and then checked the doorknob. It was locked, as it was to be expected and he thought about returning to his car and sleeping there. Then almost thoughtlessly, he slid a key into the lock. Tommy had given it to him their last year of school, after the accident. The younger teen had had a habit of locking himself out of the house. Why the key was on his key ring and not back in D.C. with the others, he didn't know. He found the house dark, except the faint glow from the stove light in the kitchen. He crept in silently, sliding his shoes off at the entrance and then making his way to the couch, not needing any light to tell him where anything was. He'd spent enough of his senior and college years here. He wasn't much of a partier but Tommy never hesitated to call a bunch of people over to just hang out. Tommy always stated how the insurance had paid for the house and the state gave him and Dil a substantial amount of money. The younger teen often called him over to spend the night, especially when Dil was gone, at a friends house or some school event. Neither of the two friends ever said anything, but Chuckie was certain that Tommy hated spending time alone.

Chuckie sighed as he sat on the couch, before he changed his mind and stood, walking down the hall and to the linen closet where he pulled out a blanket. He returned to the sofa and pulled his belt out of his pants, removing his shirt before he laid down, pulling the quilt over him. It was one Didi had made during one of her Dr. Lipshitz kicks, about homemade items being more comfortable for children. He never understood her devotion to a man who didn't have kids or any type of degree. Neither did Tommy. They used to make fun of her sometimes when they were still in school and life was fun and easy, but now it wasn't something they talked about. They hadn't talked about anything for too long actually. Way too long. Chuckie closed his eyes and was asleep before he could even question the insomnia that usually came.


	2. Morning Coffee and Medicine Cabinets

Alright, my lil fannies! Uhm, not much to say for this one, oh, except: The characters are probably going to be a little, if not way, OOC. People change, they grow up, and that's what happened!

Oh, I forgot to mention how much I love reading reviews, tehehe! Even if they're mean, or highly critical of my work, I'm a man, I can take it!! Heh, except I'm not really a man… but I can take it like one! Rereading that it sounds kind of dirty. Tehehe!

My disclaimer still stands and it will for the rest of the story, so no more on that from now on.

ON WITH THE STORY!

* * *

He woke to the aroma of freshly brewed coffee, sunlight filtering across his face and the faint hum of a familiar voice. He opened his eyes, confused at first to find himself on a strange sofa in a house that wasn't his. He sat up rubbing at his dry contacts. He opened his eyes and jumped. Tommy sat directly in front of him on the coffee table, a cup of steaming liquid in his hands.

"Mornin' sleeping beauty." The younger man said dryly, holding out the cup of coffee. Chuckie accepted wordlessly and downed the warm java.

"Just how I like it." He managed in a throaty voice.

"I'd never forget it." Tommy winked, "Tablespoon of vanilla and a quarter cup half n half."

"How about your two tablespoons hazelnut and one third cup half n half?" Chuckie smirked and Tommy allowed him a small smile. Chuckie gave him a brief once over; his hair had gotten longer and shaggier, now down to his ears, and he sported a neat goatee, which suited his narrow face. He wore only a pair of pajama pants and his fit form was quite apparent. Chuckie noticed, somewhat worriedly, that he'd also gotten quite a bit leaner then when he'd last seen him. Perhaps it was just his imagination.

"Man, you're lucky I wasn't still drunk when I got up this morning. I was about to beat the crap out of you." Tommy laughed as he nudged a baseball bat that was leaning against the coffee table, "Had a break in this year and I'm pretty pissed."

"You were out drinking on a Thursday?" Chuckie didn't bother stopping the words that came out of his mouth. Tommy paused momentarily and eyed the red head, who felt a small blush come to his face at his own rudeness.

"Yeah, me n' Phil n' a few others went out to Chevy's last night. I got a ride from Rick, so no worries alright?" he said finally. That wasn't what was his concern had been but he ignored it. It wasn't his business anyways. Tommy was a grown man, he didn't need a babysitter. Chuckie rubbed his face with his hands and Tommy quirked his head a bit. There was a short silence as Tommy surveyed him critically and Chuckie wondered briefly about what was going through his mind. Finally, Tommy sighed and sat back.

"Now, not that I really mind waking up to find my best friend crashed out in my living room, what exactly brings you to my sofa after so long?"

"Aw shit!" Chuckie jumped up, digging around for his cell phone. He didn't find it in his pockets and he began to panic. What if Kimi had called?! What if something had happened?! He heard a whistle and looked up at Tommy who was waving his cell phone. He took it and glanced it over, he still hadn't gotten a call. He finally collapsed back into the sofa. Tommy was staring at him, mildly interested and somewhat concerned.

"Dad's in the hospital. Kimi called last night. I was worried so I drove down here but no ones at the house and Kimi never answered her phone." He finally explained.

"Well, shit. Is he okay?"

"Dunno. Kimi never even said what was wrong, only that he was there." Chuckie muttered. Both men were quiet for a moment.

"Well, here. You look like hell so why don't you go jump in the shower and I'll start breakfast and make some calls to see what's up. Okay?" Tommy said. Chuckie shook his head.

"Nah, I'll go ahead and call around." He said, but Tommy was already walking out of the room.

"There are towels under the sink." The younger man said in a way that left no room for argument. Chuckie rolled his eyes and gave a harsh sigh, before standing to go to the bathroom. Just like Tommy to want to do everything himself. He was too tired to argue and so he relented, already fantasizing about the hot water on his skin. The towels were where they always had been and Tommy had the fairly clean bathroom stocked with all the necessities and so he was standing under the steaming liquid before he knew it. He sighed as the hot water cleaned away an inch of dirt he hadn't known was there.

He thought about Tommy and his hometown, and why he hadn't been back for so long. His dad kept reminding him that there was always room for him. He was often working over the holidays and the drive was too long to make for just a day or two, and for some reason he was afraid to use his vacation weeks, in case he needed them for something else. Which reminded him, he needed to call in, it was already past 5 but his boss didn't get in until 9 and he'd wait til then to call her. He tried to imagine what the gang had been up to, but the last time he talked to anyone it was Tommy, about two months ago. He could only picture everyone from their last year of high school. He didn't even know what kind of job Tommy had… god, had he never asked? He thought back to their conversations… how many were there…? 4, nah, 5 in the last year. What kind of friend was he? He vaguely remembered asking Tommy how he'd been doing. The other man was pretty vague and never got too much into what was going on in his life. He talked a lot about Dil and the others. He hated himself for finding this odd just now. He should've thought more about it before.

He finished cleaning himself and shut the water off. He stepped out of the shower and wrapped a towel around his waist, thought for a moment and then stuck his head out the door, "Hey, you have a razor I can borrow?"

"In the medicine cabinet. Me casa es su casa, bro." came the reply. Chuckie smiled at that. Tommy had been spending too much time talking to Dil, but then who else was there for him to talk to? With the exception of Phil, and recently, Kimi, every other member of the gang was out of the area, the last he'd heard anyways. Chuckie opened the medicine cabinet and grabbed the razor, a bottle clattered into the sink and he picked it up. But as he was reaching to put it back the label caught his eye and he started. He stared at it uncertainly.

"I don't use them." Chuckie jumped as Tommy's hand clamped over the bottle and shoved it into the cabinet shutting the door, "The doctor gave them to me after the accident." They looked at each other for a moment and Chuckie didn't bother to mention that the date suggested it was last filled a week ago, and that doctors didn't just hand out antidepressants.

"I probably have some clothes for you to wear if you didn't bring any." Tommy looked him over and Chuckie found himself slightly self-conscious about the soft belly he'd obtained during the last couple of years especially when he found himself looking at the fit man in front of him. He'd always been thicker than Tommy but he'd gained a little weight working at a computer desk for so long. He looked at the younger mans toned arms and wondered again where he worked, "I have a couple of shirts that'll fit anyways, maybe not pants. You're a little too tall." And too chubby, he added silently to himself with a sigh.

"Where do you work?" Chuckie asked. Tommy laughed at the question.

"That's a bit random."

"I know, but it's been bothering me." Tommy gave a crooked smile and tilted his head to the side, in a way that reminded him of a puppy.

"You let weird things bother you… but then again, you _are_ Chuckie." Tommy laughed again, and Chuckie thought he noticed an odd undertone in his laugh. He mentally shrugged it off as Tommy continued, "I've been working a couple of part time jobs. I work over at the grocery warehouse, loading up trucks-" OOOOh, So that's where he got so fit, "-and I work at the photography studio and sometimes, if I feel like it, I'll write editorials for the paper."

"That's a lot of work."

"Nah, it aint too bad. The warehouse only needs me 4 days a week, and it's a graveyard shift, so it doesn't interfere with the studio which I work 5 days a week, but they're only 6 hour shifts. And I write the editorials on my lunch breaks." Tommy shrugged, "I prefer staying busy anyways." Chuckie did the math in his head, 62 work hours a week. "I'll go find you that shirt while you finish getting dressed, okay?" Tommy disappeared before Chuckie could say anything more and he picked up the razor to shave away the stubble that had showed itself since yesterday morning.

"Here yah go." Tommy reappeared and handed him a black button up, "It's the biggest shirt I have."

"Thanks." Chuckie put it on and started buttoning it up, Tommy leaned against the doorway watching him. It fit a little too snugly then he was used to, but it would do. He waited a moment for Tommy to leave so he could put his shorts and khakis back on, but the other man just sat there, and Chuckie figured, by the look of his glazed eyes, that he was off in his own little world and Chuckie was again frustrated by the fact that he had no idea what he was thinking. It used to be, he remembered, that he and Tommy knew almost instinctively what the other was thinking. Instead of saying anything, he cleared his throat and as Tommy's eyes refocused, Chuckie gestured at his towel and Tommy smirked.

"Yes, I like your outfit. You're such a big boy to do it all yourself." He said giving a small sarcastic chuckle.

"Yeah, yeah, go finish breakfast." Chuckie rolled his eyes and playfully pushed the other man out of the door, shutting it as he did so.

"That's it, you're not eating!" Tommy's muffled voice said, with mock anger. Chuckie smiled as he pulled his clothes on, and then as he went to put the razor away, it evaporated and he took the bottle back in his hand to examine it again. Yup, last filled only 8 days ago, and it had 2 refills left. Which meant that, if what Tommy had said was true, he'd been taking Celexa for 5 years now. And he'd never known. He sighed and put the antidepressants back onto their shelf and shut the cabinet door for a final time.


	3. I Missed You Over Breakfast

Ok, so here you begin to learn a little more about this not-so-mysterious-accident, and you'll learn lots more later… hum… I wonder how many chapters I'll make this into…?

MOVING ON!! R&R YOU!!!

smooches

Oh and for you slash-queasy people, I still think this is more of a friend fic for now. I'm trying to make it as gradual and "real" as possible. I don't think I've had them do anything they wouldn't do as just friends.

And I'll be sure to give everyone a warning before I get into the slashy bits. (I'll say this right now, there wont be any hard core, or probably even soft core, stuff going on. It's going to be more innuendo than anything else, sorry!)

* * *

He walked out of the bathroom, inhaling deeply, as the smell of bacon and other goodies caught his nose. His stomach growled loudly in response. He hadn't eaten since lunch yesterday. He came into the kitchen to find Tommy with a phone wedged between his ear and shoulder as he struggled to flip over the four eggs that were cooking on a frying pan. 

"I got it." He said, taking the spatula and Tommy smiled at him before going to sit down at the table.

"Yeah, well, thanks Aunt Charlotte." He was saying and then paused, "Nah, he's fine. Yeah, I talked to him the other day." Chuckie listened closely, but caught no hint of what was going on, not even in Tommy's neutral tone. He pulled the pan off the stove as the eggs finished and placed them on to the waiting plate.

"Oh, so what's the room number again?" a pause. "Got it, thanks again Char. We'll see you at the hospital later, alright?" He said, finishing the conversation as Chuckie slid into the seat across from him.

"So?" He asked anxiously as Tommy set the phone on the table.

"He's fine." And Chuckie breathed a sigh of relief, "It was a small heart attack, and they're just keeping him for a couple of tests."

"Tests? For what? If he's fine then why do they need to do tests?"

"Just to be certain everything is okay, and they want to know why it happened." Tommy answered calmly as he stood to gather a few more plates from the counter. He set everything down and Chuckie watched in silence, "He's fine, I promise you." Tommy said firmly, putting a warm hand on his shoulder. Chuckie looked up at him and gave a brief smile, before turning his gaze on the food.

"I know you didn't make all this while I was in the shower." He said as Tommy pulled his hand back and sat down again. The other man gave a sheepish smile.

"Actually the only thing fresh is the eggs and toast. I made the bacon and ham a couple days ago and the fruit was cut up yesterday."

"Hell, I haven't eaten since noon yesterday and I'm starved, so I couldn't care less." Chuckie said, piling food onto the plate in front of him as Tommy poured them both glasses of orange juice. They ate in silence for a couple of minutes.

Chuckie sighed as he thought back to when they were kids, back to when Tommy saved him all the time, from the boogeyman, or the monster in the shed, or any of the imaginary beings they used to face on a daily basis. It was odd, even during the days after the accident, Tommy was still the strong, brave one.

He recalled going to see Tommy when he and Dil still lived at the old house. He had wanted to comfort the other teen, to let Tommy use him as a pillar, but when he got there, all he could do was look at Tommy and cry. Cry for all the things that were now gone from the other teen's life. His parents hadn't seen him graduate. They wouldn't be with him for his 18th birthday and he cried because Tommy and Dil wouldn't experience so much that he had. And because they would never see their parents again. And Tommy held him as the older teen sobbed over two people that might as well have been his aunt and uncle who had left their two sons far too early in their lives.

He ended up sleeping over that night, and many subsequent ones. All three of them splayed out on the living room floor, Dil wedged between the two older boys, one of his legs still in a cast. A Reptar movie played on the television, set on mute as they all talked about nothing, trying to make each other laugh.

Chuckie shook his head. Even now, Tommy tried to be the strong one for everybody. But Chuckie wasn't the same kid he'd been. He didn't need to be led around by the hand and he didn't want to be.

"Did Charlotte say why Kimi hasn't called?" Chuckie finally broke the silence, shoving his thoughts away.

"Nah, she didn't, but Kimi's still at the hospital." Tommy said, "We can drove over when we're done eating, if that's fine." Chuckie nodded and they went back to eating in silence. Pretty soon his thoughts drifted to the bottle in the medicine cabinet and Tommy's lie. He wondered why he'd kept it a secret, and for so long? He could understand if it was embarrassing, but to not tell _him?? _He was the best friend. They'd had their diapers changed next to each other for christ's sake! They knew more about each other than anybody else! Or… at least they had. He cleared his throat and looked up at Tommy who put his fork down at Chuckie's expression.

"Tommy. You know I'm you're best friend right?" He managed uncertainly.

"Of course." Tommy laughed, and again, Chuckie heard that odd undertone.

"And I'm always here for you. No matter how far apart we are, no matter what you need, even if it's just to talk, or anything." He said hurriedly, his heart pounding in his chest, though he wasn't sure why. Maybe talking about things like this was just another one of his phobias. Almost like asking a girl out on a date. Maybe he was just waiting to be rejected.

"I know." Tommy said, now serious, "You said all this before, when you moved."

"I just don't want you to forget."

"I never have."

"So, if anything's bothering you, or if something's wrong, you can talk to me about it."

"I'm fine Chuck." Tommy said and the redhead heard a certain tone reach his voice. Chuckie said nothing more, only went back to eating his breakfast. Tommy joined him after a brief moment.

"How's Dil doing?" Chuckie asked after a couple of minutes of near tense silence.

"He's good. I actually called him day before yesterday. He passed all his midterms with flying colors. He's only got two years before he gets his bachelors." Tommy's voice swelled with pride and Chuckie couldn't help but smile. He wished he and Kimi had the same kind of relationship.

"Psychology still his major?"

"Yeah."

"I just can't really see him as a social worker. He's always been, so, well, nutty."

"He's still a nut. But he's a nut that wants to help people and he has the dedication to do it." Tommy smiled.

"How about Phil and Lil?" Tommy paused at this and Chuckie almost regretted mentioning her name, but it was hard to talk about one twin without mentioning the other. In their junior year of high school, the two had attempted a relationship but it was brief and ended on a sour note when Lil got drunk at a party and made out with another boy. Tommy broke up with her than, the fact that she was drunk playing little part in his decision. Chuckie wasn't sure if he was just looking for an excuse to end it. Both of their families and friends had been pushing for them to hook up and Chuckie suspected that if not that than he never would have said yes when Lil asked him out. Lil didn't entirely share the sentiment and had taken the break up very personally and hadn't really talked to him since, despite Tommy's early attempts. Eventually he became slightly resentful that she would let a few bad weeks ruin a lifetime of friendship.

"Well Phil's parole just ended, that's why were out celebrating." Tommy gave a wry smile and Chuckie just shook his head. Phil had been given a large fine and quite a few hours of community service after he broke into a neighbors home while drunk, thinking it was his. Luckily the woman thought it was funny and decided not to press charges, but because he was publicly intoxicated, he was fined and released on parole.

"He told me Lil's been hired by large marketing firm and she's been making a lot of money. He also told me that she's just been engaged.

"Engaged!? Wow!" Chuckie sputtered on his orange juice, "I didn't even know she had a long term relationship."

"Yeah not like ours huh?" Tommy smirked and Chuckie gave a small uncomfortable chuckle.

"I haven't heard much of Angelica or Susie lately."

"Yeah, it's kind of hard to keep up with people's lives if you never call." Came the smart reply and Chuckie faltered at this and gave Tommy a curious glance. The tone far more bitter than he would've imagined. Tommy looked up after a brief second and sighed, smiling.

"Sorry, guess my hangover has me a little irritable." He managed, "I don't see why you haven't heard much of either of them. Angelica's just received a commemoration for being the most successful music manager of any one star. And as her famous client, Susie's just hit it big with two consecutive #1 singles in 13 different countries." Tommy smiled at Chuckie's expression.

"I've been hearing Susie's name but I had no idea she was so big!"

"And she never would've got there without Angelica."

"Or her daddy's money." Chuckie gave an almost smirk. Tommy laughed.

"Angelica actually just paid her parents back and bought a house for them. A nice one too, for 1.5 million dollars." Chuckie almost choked on his own spit.

"Holy shit." He managed.

"Yeah. It's mainly because she has bunch of artists scrambling to get her as their manager." Chuckie shook his had amazed. Tommy finished his meal and started clearing the table. Chuckie downed his orange juice and stood to help him. Tommy started to rinse and load the dishes but Chuckie bumped him aside.

"I've got it. Remember, the cook doesn't do the dishes." He said when Tommy looked at him startled. The younger man's face broke into a small smile as he remembered their last couple of years together when Chuckie spent most of his time over at his best friends house.

"Kay, so who does the dishes when we order pizza?" He asked, as if testing him ,a mischievous smile on his face.

"Easy. Whoever doesn't pay for it." Chuckie said and cut Tommy off before he could speak, "And if the cost is split than we rock, paper, scissors for it."

"Good to know you've still got it, buddy." Tommy said, patting him on the back.

"ME?" Chuckie said, in mock surprise, "I was worried about YOU not having it." They laughed then and it was the first time that Chuckie felt it was natural for Tommy and he swelled a little bit at the thought.

"Well, since you've got it covered, I'm going to get dressed." He gave a wave as he left the room, leaving Chuckie to the dishes and his thoughts. Tommy had been right to snap at him. He should've called more often. He should've visited. He hadn't even realized how much he'd missed everyone, his family, friends and especially Tommy. He knew though, deep down, why he didn't. When they were younger, since grade school and all through high school, he knew everyone was destined for greatness. Everyone except himself. Tommy was going to be famous movie producer. Susie was going to be a famous singer. Angelica would succeed in whatever she did, she was too tenacious to fail. Lil was going to be a news anchor, before she got interested in marketing and ads anyway. Dil was just a flat out genius. Kimi was involving herself in politics and her aim was to be a U.S. Ambassador for Japan. His thoughts faltered on Phil… he'd had promise, back then. He'd been interested in entomology but then he'd gotten a little too attached to alcohol and partying in their junior and senior years and barely scrapped by, even graduating late. Himself, he didn't have any real interests and he wasn't especially bright or talented and he knew, felt it in his bones, that he was going to be left behind in this small town, stuck doing something he hated for the rest of his life while everyone gained a name for themselves. He could clearly imagine them all being interviewed, or writing their autobiographies, and remembering that one kid. The one with the red hair and freckles and glasses, that one nerd, and whatever happened to him, anyway?

"Hey Earth to Chuck." Chuckie jumped and dropped the glass he was holding back into the sink. Luckily, it didn't break and so he turned to look at Tommy who was smiling, amused by his reaction, "Unless, you've developed some form of telekinesis, staring doesn't get the dishes done."

"Ha ha." He said sarcastically going back to loading the dishwasher. Tommy had changed into a pair of ragged fitted jeans and black wife beater, over that was a flame colored open button up. He'd also slid several earrings into place, "You got your ears pierced again?"

"Yeah." Tommy reached up and tugged at them, shrugging.

"You look like a freakin wannabe rock star."

"At least I don't look like a yuppie. I saw your clothes." Tommy said smirking.

"I'd just gotten off of work when I drove over here!" he said defensively.

"I dress like this when I go to all my jobs." Tommy said and Chuckie splashed some water at him hearing the smugness in his voice. Tommy laughed again, blocking his face.

"Come on, you can finish later. I'm sure you want to see your dad." Tommy said and Chuckie nodded, smiling. He wiped his hands off and followed Tommy out of the kitchen. Tommy was grabbing his keys when he turned and smiled at Chuckie, before pulling the other man into a surprise, firm hug.

"I really missed ya, bud." He said and Chuckie returned the hug.

"Missed you too." They parted with that and walked out of the house, Tommy locking the door behind them.


	4. Maybe It's Not Over

Okay, so um, yeah. I don't believe I have anything to say… except.. R & R PLEASE. Here ya go!!!

* * *

Tommy's car, an old beat up Corolla, was the only thing that inhabited the drive way and sported more than its fair share of scrapes and dents. Tommy unlocked his door and then leaned over to unlock Chuckie's.

"What happened to your other car?" He asked, sliding into his seat as Tommy started the car. "The mustang?"

"Sold it."

"WHY?" Chuckie asked aghast.

"Not enough room."

"How much you sell it for? That thing was a classic!"

"Yeah, a classic piece of shit, so not much." Tommy laughed.

"Yeah, well this car doesn't look much better, you sure it's gonna make it there? Hell, can it make it out of the driveway??" He asked. The younger man simply rolled his eyes and _quickly_ backed out of the driveway, making Chuckie jerk forward.

"Stick too?" He said watching as Tommy shifted, "I never understood the point of stick shift. I'd rather just get in the car and go."

"Better mileage. Plus the transmissions are built stronger." He said. They both were quiet and Chuckie wasn't sure if it was companionable silence or just the fact that neither knew what to say. Perhaps it was just his mind racing a hundred miles per hour that made it awkward. He and Tommy had talked about it before. Chuckie was usually fine with silence, in fact, he never really noticed when it was quiet until somebody else pointed it out, usually Tommy. Apparently, that wasn't the case now. He sighed and stared out the window.

"If you're still tired, then go to sleep." Tommy offered. Chuckie looked over from his thinking and then nodded compliantly, leaning the seat flat, but he didn't close his eyes.

"What happened?" He finally sighed rubbing his face with his palm, Tommy was silent and Chuckie again doubted the connection that they used to share. Finally, Tommy spoke, in a low, quiet voice.

"People change, drift apart. They get older. It's part of growing up."

Chuckie had to bite his lip and take a breath before responding, "I miss everything."

"Me too." And once again they fell into thick silence. He wondered when things had become so…awkward, confusing and complicated. Maybe it had always been awkward, they had never had a friendship like most guys. His other friendships were all competition, name-calling, and play fighting. Not any other friendship, even Phil's, had been like theirs. One of mutual respect, care, and actual communication. No other friendship had been so… comfortable. Maybe it was only apparent now, as adults, that their friendship had been awkward the entire time. He gave a mental shrug. Maybe it was a good thing he had to drive down here, maybe it was a good thing that no one had been at home and he'd forgotten his key. Maybe it was good being disillusioned about their friendship. To finally come to a conclusion about his relationship with someone he'd known for 23 years. And maybe he was just crazy, he sighed again.

"Chuckie."

"Yeah?"

"I'm sorry." Chuckie propped himself up on his elbow and looked over at his friend.

"For what?"

"Not calling more often, not trying to visit."

"Hey, I was the one who moved. I should've been calling. I should've visited."

"You think it's too late?" Tommy looked up from the road to meet his eyes.

"To start over?" He asked.

"No, to keep going forward." Chuckie stared hard at Tommy's face, which was expressionless. Maybe they still could read each other's mind.

"Can we?" He finally mused quietly, sitting the seat back up to stare out the window again, "We had a pretty advanced friendship to begin with didn't we? It wasn't like any other friendship I've ever had. And maybe that's just as far as we can go. Don't you think? We started early and met our end."

"You really think that?" Tommy asked in a flat, strained tone.

"I dunno." He paused, "What about you? What do you think?"

"I think that even right now we're still going forward, I mean, how many men do you know who would talk so openly about this kind of stuff? There's always room to advance, even if we're pioneers in it."

"If we're so advanced then why didn't we call each other or visit? Or email, or write, or _something. _Hell, what were we so damned afraid of!?" Chuckie turned to look back at Tommy and saw his hands tightening reflexively on the wheel. After several moments of quiet, he turned back to the window and crossed his arms, "I know what I was afraid of. This place. I didn't want to come back and be that nerd with red hair, freckles and braces who could only talk without stuttering to close friends and family. Y'know, in D.C. I'm actually the head of a subdivision. I'm in charge of people, I don't stutter, I go to bars with my coworkers, I can actually flirt with girls… I'm not afraid of anything, except being that shy, skinny kid again." Chuckie said, voicing his thoughts from before, talking quietly and frowning at the passing scenery.

"Chuckie, there's nothing wrong with who you were, or who you are."

"Yeah… right." He sighed and reached over to turn the radio on and it played country. Chuckie looked over at Tommy, who had turned a slight shade of pink as he pushed one of the preset buttons. Immediately, rock music played and Chuckie felt a grin over take his face and he let out a low chuckle, "Mr. Wannabe-rock-star likes country music, then?"

"Oh, shut up." Tommy said in a light tone, "It's alright."

"Yeah okay, cowboy, how many of your presets are country then?" he asked, Tommy didn't reply and he raised a hand, "Shall we see?"

"Go to hell." Tommy said and Chuckie laughed, sitting back. Both momentarily forgetting the tense, serious discussion that had just taken place and the rest of the drive passed in a comfortable silence as the rock music played between them.

* * *

The state hospital had been remodeled and added to since the last time he was here and so he let Tommy lead them through the halls and finally, hesitantly, to a room. They walked in slowly and Chuckie felt something constrict in his chest as he saw his father lying in the immaculate white sheets of the hospital bed. His eyes were closed behind his thick glasses and there was an IV tube on top of his hand and several wires were attached to his chest. Chuckie saw that he'd lost quite a bit of weight and he had always been extremely skinny to begin with. Dark circles had attached themselves under his eyes.

"Oh there you are!" Both young men jumped and looked over at the source of the noise, on the other side of the room. Charlotte stood up from the chair and walked over. Her hair had been dyed (again) to a light blonde, although bits of gray had reappeared at her temples as hair grew in. Her many bouts of plastic surgery had given her skin a stretched appearance and she was still thin and busty as she'd always been, "I was afraid you wouldn't get here by the time I had to leave." Chuckie cringed as she spoke, with her ear glued to her cell phone for all those years, she'd lost quite a bit of hearing and so overcompensated when she spoke.

"Where are you going?" Tommy asked and Charlotte smiled.

"Drew and I are meeting Angelica and Suzie for lunch at Chez Pierre in the city. I have to pick Drew up from home and the drive's pretty long so we have to leave in a little bit." She said, glancing at her wrist watch for effect.

"Angelica's in town?"

"No, they're only passing through for a moment." Charlotte sighed and Chuckie saw something like regret flicker through her eyes, "I'm just glad that she's a better daughter than I was a parent. She doesn't completely ignore me." She gave a weak smile and the two men exchanged a quick glance. She straightened out her angora sweater and smoothed out her loose skirt, ever since she'd stopped working she'd taken on a more "hippie" like appearance and as Tommy had put it, she had woken up from the rat race. More than Chuckie had actually expected.

"Well, now you two aren't really here to listen to me ramble on and on." She said and brightened a bit as she came close, putting her hands on Chuckie's shoulders, "You have grown into such a fine young man!" she lightly pinched his cheek, "I'm glad I had a chance to see you before I left."

"Thanks for being here." He said and they gave each other a brief hug. She turned to Tommy.

"You, my young nephew, need to stop by more often! I'm tired of catching up over the phone!" She gave him a hug, "It gets pretty lonely in that big house, you and Dil and everyone else are welcome to stop by any time you want to, okay?"

"Yes Aunt Charlotte." Tommy smiled and then she left the room.

"Thank god." A voice wheezed from the bed and they jumped again.

"Dad?" Chuckie's voice croaked as they turned. His dad was struggling to sit up and he went to his side to help him.

"I've been pretending to be asleep for a half an hour." He smiled and the result was slightly ghastly with his pale skin and gaunt face, "My Chuckie."

"Dad?? How are you feeling?" he asked.

"Just give me a hug and I'll be the happiest person on this earth." His dad held his arms out expectantly and Chuckie gave him a hug. He was bony and it worried him.

"What happened? Are you okay?" He asked as he pulled back and he saw his dad wipe tears from his eyes, "What's wrong? Do you hurt?"

"I just told you, I'm the happiest person on this earth."

"Oh Dad, don't be such a sap." They all turned as a young slim Japanese woman walked in. She wore her hair in a fashion reminiscent of her mothers years before and adorned a pair of tight low riders. She also wore a green halter and a leather jacket over that. She was carrying two cups of coffee in her hands and sauntered in to hand one to her father, "How's my big brother?" She gave him a one armed hug keeping her hot coffee a safe distance away.

"A little upset." He said returning the hug, she pulled away and looked up at him, "You never returned my phone calls." Immediately the confusion was replaced by an apologetic expression.

"Oh! I'm so sorry!! I lost my phone! I think I threw it into the garbage in the cafeteria and when I asked if they would help look for it, they said they couldn't allow me to dig through the garbage's, something about sanitation issues." She waved a hand in exasperation, "I guess I forgot to tell Char to call you for me."

"Well I'm glad she did." Their dad said from the bed, "Otherwise you wouldn't have gotten out of work to come visit us."

"Work, crap! What time is it?" He asked.

"Almost 10." Tommy answered.

"I gotta call my boss, I'll be right back." He darted out of the room, down the halls and outside, pulling his cell phone out as he did so. He dialed the number and went through several secretaries before he go her on the phone.

"Ms. Julia Williams speaking." She finally answered the phone.

"Hey Julia. This is—"

"Mr. Finster."

"Yeah."

"Care to explain why you're not at your desk this morning?"

"I got a call from my sister as I was leaving work. My dad's in the hospital right now and I had to drive down." There was a brief pause, "I'll be back in two days, I swear."

"You know, Charles. This is the first day you've taken off in over 8 months and you've only called in three times the entire time you've worked for me. You have 3 weeks of saved up vacation time not to mention all the holidays you've never taken." She said, her voice never losing its business tone. He waited for the point, "You are going to spend a week there."

"What?" He said shocked.

"No, you know what? I order you to stay there for two weeks." She said and he could hear the smirk in her voice, "I want to see you here on the 21st at exactly 7am, and not a second before then, hear me?"

"Yes Julia, but it really isn't necessary." He said, "I could be back in a week."

"I gave you your orders. I'll see you when?"

"7am the 21st." He rolled his eyes.

"Good, now, go visit your family."

"Bye Jules." They hung up and he couldn't hold back the sigh, though he wasn't quite sure what it was for.

* * *

Alright peeps, whatdyathink??? EH???

R & R … PLEASE!!!!!!


	5. Tacos and I'm Sorry

Okay, I woke up the next morning, read what I foolishly posted and decided that if my writing had come to that, than I might as well just jump off a bridge (i.e. I didn't like it)

I had major writers block and I couldn't find a single paper (out of MILLIONS) that I'd written the story on and out of desperation posted that jumpy, pointless crud, I went searching, found exactly what I was looking for and here you are, my revised chapter 5!!

(Okay, so technically, I only inserted a half a page of dialogue and maybe fixed one or two things I didn't like, but now!! I am content!!!)

Read on!!!

Oh yes, now THIS is for you Jam!!

* * *

By the time Chuckie had gotten back into the room, Tommy and Kimi were engrossed in conversation, relating to each other all they'd missed out on for the last couple of months.

"-was in Cairo where I ran into the vice president. She was more polite than I would have thought, considering she was a republican, but very… um… uninteresting."

Kimi was saying. Tommy and Dad both laughed and she smiled as she saw him reenter the room, "Hey big bro. I was just telling them about my couple of months in Egypt."

"Months? But you just called to tell me you were leaving-"

"-In early December." She finished insistently.

"And it's just-"

"March." She sighed, rolling her eyes, "Damn bro, when was the last time you looked at a calendar, huh?" He didn't answer, he was too busy thinking about how neither of them had been with their parents on Christmas, and why his dad hadn't said anything to him about it. He risked a glance at his father, eyebrows furrowed together in guilt, but his Dad had become entranced by a bit of fuzz on his blanket. The room was strangely quiet for a second and then Tommy cleared his throat.

"Well, I think I'll let you guys catch up with each other." He stood but Kimi caught his arm.

"Don't be stupid. If I ever had an older brother-in-spirit, it's you. You have all the right to be a part of this family as I do." She said grinning. He smiled appreciatively but shook his head.

"Nah, it's fine, really." He said and with a nod at everyone he left the room. Kimi and Chuckie exchanged a glance before turning back to their father.

"Hey, does Mom know you're here?" Chuckie asked.

"No, I knew she'd come back immediately and she hasn't been to see her family in a long time, so as soon as I could, I let Kimi know not to worry her."

"Anything new with you?" Kimi asked him.

"Huh? Um, I've been promoted to junior executive of the technical department." He shrugged.

"What's that mean?"

"I get paid more." The other two laughed and he looked to the door wondering what made Tommy decide to leave.

"How long are you staying here?" Kimi asked.

"My supervisor said two weeks." He answered turning back.

"That's great!" Chaz exclaimed at once and Kimi nodded smiling.

"How'd you pull that one off?" She asked.

"I'm such a great employee is all." He grinned, preferring not to tell them that he was actually being forced to stay.

Chuckie wound up staying with his dad for the night and Kimi and Tommy had driven back together, Kimi leaving her car with Chuckie to drive back. Chuckie walked across the street to get dinner from the taco truck there. He brought back a heavy brown bag of super burritos and freshly made tortilla chips that left the bottom stained with grease. His dad gave a brief grimace at his selection of food and Chuckie realized just how stupid it was to buy this kind of food for a recent heart attack victim. Chaz waved off all of his apologies and his pleas to let him go get a salad or something else like that. The nurse happened in as they ate in silence and narrowed her eyes at the pair of heavy burritos but contented herself with simply clucking disapprovingly as she took his fathers vitals.

"Hey Dad." He said as he swallowed the last bite of tortilla and beef.

"Yes?"

"I'm going to be here for Christmas this year." Chuckie kept his gaze on his hands as he played with a napkin. Chaz said nothing for a brief moment and then Chuckie heard a large sniff.

"Ah, come on Dad, stop doing that." He said looking up to meet Chaz's shining eyes.

"I'm fine, just fine. I think they're giving me hormones or something." He said, pointing at the IV bag next to his bed. Chuckie gave a small smile. They were both quiet again and he fought back this hard swelling in his chest that threatened to overtake his throat.

"D'yamaybethink-" Chaz stopped there as he almost started to stammer, and he took a breath before starting over more slowly, "Do you think you could make it for Thanksgiving?"

"Uhm-"

"Well, your mom and Kimi have started making plans to visit Kimi's grandparents, you know, cause they haven't seen each other for so long, and I was thinking you and me could have one Thanksgiving together, kind of like the old days, when it was just us."

"Yeah, I'll see if I can swing it at work. Promise." He said, praying that he wouldn't disappoint his father, and then with that thought realized, he already had. He felt that peculiar tightening in his chest again and rubbed his face, suddenly physically exhausted.

He waited a moment before speaking.

"Dad… I just want you to know… I'm really sorry. I'm sorry I never came home for the holidays. I'm sorry I didn't call more often, I'm sorry-"

"Shhh." His dad held up a hand, "Chuckie, it's okay."

"No, no it isn't. I don't know what kind of person can so easily forget his family."

"Ok… maybe you're right, maybe it isn't okay, but I forgive you." Chaz said and Chuckie bowed his head, his dad reached over and grabbed his hands, "I love you Chuckie and no matter what you do, no matter where you go, and no matter what you say, I will always love you. Nothing will _ever _change that, but you are an adult. You're entitled to make your own choices, your own mistakes and I _want _them to be yours. I _want _you to make them." His father pulled him into a hug and he returned the embrace, several tears leaking from his eyes, as he thought about how much he would've missed his father if he had lost him.

"All I want, all I ever wanted, all I'll _ever_ want, is for you to be happy, son. Now, Chuckie," They pulled apart and Chaz looked into his eyes and put a finger under his chin, "Are you happy?"

He hesitated a moment and searched his fathers eyes for an answer he knew he wouldn't find there and then at that moment, a light, polite knock sounded on the door. He bit back a sigh of relief as he was momentarily saved and hastily wiped his tears from his face.

"Excuse me, gentlemen, I'm afraid I'm going to have to have you leave for the night." a nurse said quietly, "You may stay in the waiting room, but I cannot let you stay in here."

"Oh... I-uh.. Well, I guess I'll see you tomorrow morning than Dad." Chuckie said, standing slowly, gathering his jacket and the keys Kimi had left.

"You're not staying here, right?" Chaz asked worriedly.

"Well, yeah, I was-"

"No, no, I'll be perfectly fine! Go get a good nights sleep Chuckie." Chaz said immediately. Chuckie thought about arguing, but decided against it. The last thing he wanted was his dad to be worried about whether or not he was sleeping comfortably. Not that spending the night in a old, stained wooden chair would be his first choice anyway.

"Yeah, alright." He leaned over and gave his father a goodbye hug, "Love ya dad."

"I love you." With that, he stood, and left the room, giving a final wave, as he pulled out Kimi's keys, awkward in his grip, and feeling more and regretful for the path he'd allowed his life to take him, so far from his family.

* * *

R&R my lovely peeps! 


	6. A Peak Into Darkness

Yeah, it's been awhile. But college and work and real life…. It all bites and it's overrated! NEVER GROW UP!!!!! Haha, ok, moving on!

* * *

He arrived back at Tommy's house to find another car in the driveway. Just as ugly and beaten down as Tommy's but with a missing license plate and a cracked windshield. He parked Kimi's car on the street (she had a Benz, how she could afford it was beyond him) and locked it carefully, before heading inside. He hesitated at the door, not sure whether he should bother knocking and then decided to just walk in. He heard laughter and immediately recognized Phil's voice. Sure enough, Phil, Kimi and Tommy were sitting in the living room, two open pizza boxes and several beers opened on the coffee table. 

"Hey Chuckie!!" Phil jumped up and ran over to give Chuckie the typical one armed, one-pat hug, "How's it hanging man??"

"Great, how bout you?" He asked, as they sat back down.

"A little to the left," Phil said laughing. Chuckie rolled his eyes and leaned forward to grab a beer.

"At least we know your sense of humor hasn't changed." He said dryly.

"Oh, hey, what you drinking the beer for?" Phil asked suddenly, "I brought you something special!" He reached under the table and pulled out a six-pack of the flavored Smirnoff drinks.

"Since we all know that you can't handle hard liquor or the taste of a good mans beer!" Phil said grinning and Tommy and Kimi both laughed as they remembered the many parties that they'd had and Chuckie's moderate sipping of the Smirnoff Ices and Mike's Hard Lemonades while everyone else slammed down shot after shot of whatever liquor anybody had thought to bring.

"I'll have you know, I've come to like the taste of beer and I can take a shot just as good as any of you." He said firmly, a daring glare sent to Phil, who still grinned though his eyebrows had risen.

"Is that a challenge, my dear… friend?" Phil asked quietly.

"Oh, indeed it is… buddy." Chuckie said as equally quiet, resisting the powerful urge to laugh.

"Well then, it's on… pal." Phil said, and then before anyone could speak, "Kimi's on my team!!!"

"Hey, we weren't talking teams here." Chuckie said panicked.

"What?? You afraid of going against a girl?" Phil goaded.

"GIRL? That's a machine! Reigning Champion of Shots for five years in a row! Hell nah! Besides she's my sister! We should be on the same team!"

"Oh both of you calm down. I'm not drinking tonight anyways! I've got some papers to send over to my boss tomorrow morning and I still haven't typed them up." Kimi interjected, "Have a slice of pizza and save your energy for Saturday night."

"Saturday night? What's Saturday night?" Chuckie asked.

"Tommy's having a party. You can have your little contest then, alright?"

"Alright, but we aren't doing teams." Chuckie said firmly, sitting back and taking a swig from the beer.

"Pansy." Phil huffed, somewhat playfully.

"Chill out." Tommy said and Chuckie turned to him, nearly having forgotten he was there. He was leaning back on the sofa, staring up at the ceiling and the thought traveled briefly through his mind that he looked somewhat plastered even though there were only 5 opened beers on the coffee table. And he figured he was just tired.

"We're just joking Tommy, it's alright." Chuckie said lightly, never would he have thought that he would need to tell Tommy they were just playing around. And everyone thought that _he _was the sensitive one. Tommy slid a glance over and then pulled himself up from the couch.

"I'm going to bed. I got to be at work in a few hours. Chuckie, you know where every thing is, and, you two know where the door is. See ya." He gave a forced smile and the waved before making his way down the hall to his bedroom. Chuckie looked at the others questioningly. Kimi merely shrugged and Phil took a swig from his beer.

"Has he been like that all day?" Chuckie asked quietly.

"He was kind of quiet on the drive back, but he wasn't all, moody like that." She said and then stood, "Alright, well I've got to start working on those reports anyways. I'll see you on Saturday at the latest." She gathered up her wallet and Chuckie handed her the keys.

"See ya." They gave each other another hug and she exited. Chuckie sat back down again and looked over at all Phil who was chugging the beer. He rolled his eyes and picked up the remote, kicking his legs up on the coffee table.

"What??? He killed my buzz." Phil said once the beer was empty.

"You want to stay and watch something?" He asked. Phil shook his head.

"I'm gonna take a page from Kimi's book, I got work tomorrow… and an AA meeting, hehe, part of my 'healing process.' Plus, I don't want Tommy to come back out barking again." Phil grinned and grabbed his keys from the table, standing. He waved and headed out the door.

Chuckie flipped absentmindedly through the channels and finally landed on Law and Order. He watched it for a few minutes and then, glancing at the mess on the table, stood. He gathered up all the beer bottles and the half empty pizza box and made his way to the kitchen where he slid the pizza into the fridge, always a good breakfast, and set the bottles next to the sink. He noticed all the dishes from the morning had been washed and put away. He looked around again, for what, he wasn't sure, but then made his way back to the sofa where he laid down to watch the rest of the show, but soon his eyes were closed and he was sleeping.

He woke to a shuffling in the kitchen, the TV had been shut off and the only light came from the stove. A blanket had been laid over him and he felt oddly warm at the idea that Tommy had performed the gesture. He turned tiredly over to look into the kitchen where Tommy was eating quietly, not having seen him wake. Chuckie watched him silent, eyes still bleary from sleep. He glanced over at the microwaves clock and saw it was 1am, his warehouse job than. Tommy set his fork down a bit heavily and put his head in his hands, with a visible sigh. There was a backpack next to the table and Tommy leaned down and dug in it for a bit, he pulled out brown paper sack and set it on the table where he dug in that too. He pulled out a bottle and opened it, dumping some pills into his hand, where he popped them into his mouth and took a big gulp from his orange juice.

Chuckie frowned and closed his eyes, discreetly trying to shift so Tommy couldn't see him. It must've been the antidepressants. It had to be. But then… what were the other things he heard rattling in the bag? What else did he have? No, he shouldn't jump to conclusions. Hell, everyone carried around painkillers and other over the counter medicines.

Tommy stood, the chair scraping against the tile and then the light went off on the stove and Chuckie heard footsteps head to the door, where they halted and he resisted the urge to open his eyes, even the slightest. Tommy walked back toward him and pulled the blanket back up to his shoulders and then cool fingertips brushed his forehead.

"Night, Chuck." Tommy murmured and then headed out the door, locking it with a firm click. He breathed a sigh and opened his eyes to stare up at the dark ceiling. He lay there thinking for the longest time and finally, sleep recaptured him.

* * *

AN: Finally! I know!! Anyways. Hope you enjoyed, the rest will be going into stuff I have written down… somewhere, so the next update shouldn't take as long, especially considering my hours have been chopped form 40 to 24 (GRRRRRR) and schools letting out for the term pretty quick. 

Review, if you will.


	7. Nightmares and a Bag

Hey. Finally, I know. Anyways, this was worked on over the course of like... a few weeks... so yeah. Any incoherent bits are a direct result of my lack of concentration and the distraction of the tv. If there are problems with grammar and words that just dont "belong," sorry. I have a habit of throwing weird words in for some reason... I eavesdrop, that's why, and then I start typing what I'm listening to... anyways.So...okay, okay. I wont comment further. ENJOY. And review, if you so wish.

* * *

The next morning he woke feeling as though he hadn't slept at all. Dreams had plagued him all night and all he could picture when he opened his eyes was Tommy's face on a raven's body. The Tommy-Raven had sat in the corner and recited Edgar Allan Poe stories in a sing-song voice and then, after somehow opening a bottle of pills and swallowing them, he had dropped to the floor, black feathers flying everywhere. The dream bothered him, even as entertaining as it might have been otherwise, and he contemplated it for several long minutes, before primal urges took over and he got up to pee.

He saw Tommy's shoes by the door and glanced at the clock. He'd managed to sleep until 8. Tommy must've just gotten back, and as he made his way down the hall, he heard the shower and sighed. He'd hated the single bathroom house for all these years for this exact reason, it had been worse when Dil was there and Tommy had had any of those parties. He remembered those nights when there had been a line at the door and drunken guys peeing in the backyard. But, he was sober and had never advocated the murdering of plants and so he rapped on the door with his knuckle.

"Hey Tommy?" There was a little moment of silence and then.

"Chuckie? Sorry man, did I wake you up?"

"Nah, I just have to piss."

"Doors unlocked, I wont peek, I promise. And DON'T flush." And Chuckie heard the grin in his voice. He hesitated out of pure habit. He'd always been an intensely private person, even as a child. His father's potty training stories proved that much. However, it was one of the things he'd been working on, and his bladder was giving him little say in the matter.

"Alright, I'm coming in." He said, pushing the door open. Steam was just barely beginning to form on the mirror but the blast of wet, warm air still hit him. He was just about to go when-

"How'd you sleep?" Tommy asked and his bladder seized up on him.

"Fine." Chuckie said. After a moment of quiet, he relaxed enough to go, just as Tommy spoke again.

"Are we going to visit your Dad again?"

"I'd like to, yeah." He shifted and after another a moment-

"Kay, I called Aunt Charlotte and she invited us over for dinner-"

"Tommy I can't pee if we're talking!" He finally said, urgency in his voice. His friend's only response was to break into hysterical laughter.

"I know, I know, I'm sorry. I couldn't help it." He managed, and Chuckie could clearly imagine him wiping a tear from his eyes.

"You little jerk." Chuckie muttered and finally, was able to go. He zipped up his pants and turned the faucet on to wash his hands, at the same time, he reached over with his foot and, with a smirk, flushed the toilet.

"Auuugh! What the hell!!" Chuckie laughed to himself as he shut the door to the bathroom, listening as he heard Tommy stumble out of the stream of cold water, "And whose the jerk!?" Tommy shouted through the door.

"Oh, I'm sorry, was I not supposed to flush?" Chuckie asked innocently.

"My dear friend, that was a major mistake." Tommy said, "You better keep on your toes. You'll have the master prankster to deal with."

"Oh yeah, and what, that's you?" Chuckie smirked.

"Ah, no, but I do believe Dil will be only too happy to help." Tommy said and the smile was plainly clear in his voice. Chuckie cursed under his breath. And then as he took in the moment and the scene, it struck him how familiar everything was, how comfortable it was, and a weight settled somewhere in his chest as he thought about his apartment miles away, as he thought about his job and going back. He hadn't realized before how easy it was to immerse himself so completely into that lifestyle and not truly realize just how cut off and alone he had become and the weight deepened until he almost felt strangled by it. He struggled to regain control of himself, a familiar sensation squeezing against his lungs and he took several deep breaths to fight it off.

He stood there until Tommy bumped into him, exiting the bathroom, towel wrapped around his waist, "Well geez, if you wanted a look at me in my towel, you shoulda just said so."

"Oh haha." Chuckie said sarcastically, feeling an unbidden blush grace his cheeks, "I'm going to go get some coffee started alright?"

He'd just poured himself a cup when Tommy came out of the hallway, fully dressed and dry.

"So, were you serious about going over to Charlotte's?" He asked, handing his friend a mug.

"Yeah. But only if you're cool with it."

"Sure, as long as we can go visit my dad. Maybe they'll release him today." He said and Tommy nodded, both taking a long drink from their coffee, "Do you work at all today?"

"Yeah, but I called in earlier. They've got a couple of other guys that can cover me."

"You sure? I can drive over there myself."

"Yeah, it's not a problem. It's already done." They polished off the coffee pot in silence. Chuckie still speculating over the dream. The Tommy-Raven's image still dancing in his mind and then his midnight awakening, Tommy digging through that back pack. The brown paper bag, the rattling of pills. What was in the bag? If he could just get a look in the bag, just to see what else was there, then maybe it wouldn't worry him like it did. Never before had the urge struck him to go through someone else's things and now, he felt a grim determination to go through his best friends.

"Alright, well, I'm sure visiting hours have started, so let's head out. We can grab some breakfast from Mickey D's, if that's alright?" Tommy said. Chuckie glanced up, realizing he had gone off into his own little world for awhile.

"Sure, whatever." Chuckie nodded, dumping the last of his coffee into the sink. Tommy did the same with his. They both grabbed a jacket, the early spring weather still rather unpredictable and chilly and Chuckie halted when he saw Tommy bend over to grab the backpack from where it had been sitting under the table.

The drive to the hospital was relatively quiet, neither saying much to the other. Chuckie drove, Tommy leaning against the door, eyes closed as he tried to catch up on the sleep he hadn't managed to get. They grabbed a couple of sausage mcmuffins, hash browns and orange juice. Tommy ate and immediately returned to his nap, although he insisted he was only "resting his eyes". More than once Chuckie found his gaze sliding onto the backpack that Tommy kept protectively between his feet.

At the hospital, Chuckie reached over the nudge Tommy awake but paused a moment, eyes once again on the backpack. He couldn't do that, not here, not now. With a sigh, he nudged Tommy's shoulder.

"C'mon buddy, we're here." Tommy woke with a groan and stretched, letting out a wide yawn.

"The drive sure felt a hell of a lot shorter today." He mumbled, picking up the backpack off the floor of the car as he climbed out. Again, Chuckie felt a strange tug of disappointment but he bit it back.

"Only cause you were the one sleeping this time." He said as they walked into the hospital.

Chaz was awake and looked decidedly healthier, with a little more color in his face, though he seemed rather cross, until he caught sight of Chuckie and Tommy.

"Morning boys." He said, sitting up.

"How'd you sleep?" Chuckie asked, sliding into the chair next to his dad and grabbing his hand to give it a quick squeeze. Tommy went around and sat on the other side, giving another yawn.

"Better than the both of you, apparently." Chaz said smiling, as they both gave him an affronted look, "You have bags under your eyes the size of Texas, and Tommy just looks like a wreck." Chuckie glanced over at his friend and Tommy gave him a wan smile. He wondered how much sleep Tommy had managed to get before he had to go off to work and how often he pulled nights such as those.

"You do look like a wreck." Chuckie said teasingly, breaking the serious gaze they were holding and, feeling suddenly awkward, both turned back to Chaz.

"Do you know when they'll release you yet?"

"Day after tomorrow, although I'm ready to go now." Chaz said, reassuming the disgruntled look he'd had when they walked in.

"Have they told you anything?" Tommy asked.

"Yeah, myocardial infarction brought on by stress and physical exertion." He said, "Just a fancy way of saying a heart attack."

"Are you getting any medication or anything?"

"No, just some aspirin, a light work load, and a diet." Chaz looked even less happy at this.

"Oh, you'll survive." Chuckie said.

"Yep, and that's what's important, isn't it? I'm going to survive."

They stayed into the afternoon, using Chaz's lunch tray to play card games. Tommy whipping out a deck from his backpack just as the conversation started to get a bit slow. Chuckie found himself craning his neck to get a peek inside as Tommy dug into its depths but Tommy caught his gaze and he glanced away, blinking rapidly pretending, to have been adjusting his contact lenses.

Tommy left to grab lunch and when Chuckie handed him money, his friend held on for a fraction of a second longer than necessary and Chuckie felt an odd trail of fire follow along the path his fingers had taken and he lost three games of Speed against his father before his heart rate went back to normal and he forgot the incident.

Tommy came back with grapes, sliced apples and Greek salads, making Chuckie feel even more stupid for the burrito incident, which Chaz felt was necessary to repeat. Despite his own embarrassment, he couldn't help but laugh with Tommy.

The rest of the visit passed without incident, in the same light hearted manner, although there were times when Chuckie caught Tommy watching him with an unreadable expression and they fell into a habit of holding each other's gaze before glancing away at the same moment.

It was almost four when they finally stood to leave, Tommy lending Chaz his cards for the night. Once in the car, Tommy closed his eyes and almost instantly was snoring quietly. Chuckie found that the dream had come back full force and he wondered whether the Tommy he sat next to was truly the same man he called his best friend.


	8. Somewhere, Not so Long Ago

Okay, I am sooo sorry for this taking so long and after I promised a quick post... for either this or the other one, I don't know.. hm. Anyways. We're starting to get into the tiny realm of gray area that makes certain relationships so ambiguous... or something. Anyways, what I mean is, we're getting closer to things that might not be so much friendship as something else. So beware... ish. Oy. I'm bad at this.  Have I mentioned how much I absolutely detest this and the last chapter? I hate writing with writers block. It hurts so much!  Gosh, I've said enough. Please enjoy...

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At the house, Tommy barely managed to crawl onto his bed, casting an apologetic look in Chuckie's direction. Chuckie turned the TV on and after a few minutes, found himself nodding off as well. Finally, he relented and lay down to take a nap.

When he finally woke, it was dark. The sun had set already and the kitchen light was on. The smell of onions and meat drifted toward him and he could hear something sizzling on the stove. With a grunt, he pushed himself off the sofa. He'd napped too long and felt groggy for it. He walked toward the kitchen. Tommy was reading a newspaper and leaning against the counter, spatula in hand. Chuckie watched him for a moment. His friend periodically glanced at the two steaks that were cooking in a dark sauce. Finally he yawned and made his way into the kitchen.

"I thought we were going to Drew and Charlotte's for dinner." He said, sliding into a one of the dining chairs. Tommy looked up at him and smiled.

"You just looked so peaceful, I couldn't bear to disturb you." Tommy said grinning, "I called Char up and told her we were kind of exhausted and wouldn't be able to go up tonight. She just said made me promise to get us over there at least once before you left for D.C. again."

They were silent, but comfortably so, and Chuckie was glad for it. He'd been tired of all the awkward moments between them and he wanted nothing more than to just enjoy the time he had with his friend. Tommy finally folded up his newspaper and turned his full attention to the steaks, which he pulled off the stove. Only moments later, a plate of steak, grilled onions and mashed potatoes was set in front of him and Tommy pulled up a chair next to him. Chuckie took a bite and found it surprisingly good.

"Nice to see you've gotten better at cooking." Chuckie said smiling, a light tease in his voice, and Tommy glared at him. The couple of years after the accident were spent eating take out, cold cereal, and microwave dinners. Although the other families sent over meals for the two boys in the beginning, once the initial grief had passed, the other families went on with their own lives. After a few weeks the other families stopped sending over casseroles and other hearty meals every day or so, although meals did make it over to the house every couple of weeks. Eventually Tommy tried his hand at cooking and every time he made something, Chuckie was called over under the pretense of a movie night or a new video game. Coincidentally, those same nights found Dil staying late at the library to study or out with his friends, so he was spared an evening of gagging and spitting into a napkin when Tommy wasn't looking.  
"Had to eventually." Tommy finally relented, letting the glare disappear from his face and replacing it with a grin, "I do miss watching you try and figure out how to get rid of your napkins though. That was always my favorite part." Chuckie looked up surprised and Tommy laughed.

"You weren't exactly, Mr. Discreet."

"I tried anyways." He muttered.

"After the first couple of times, I started telling Dil to find something to do, not that he was too keen on sticking around, you know?"

"You jack ass." Chuckie said, smiling, still shocked, "Why would you torture me like that?!"

"Cause you've always been easy." Tommy said, grin widening, if at all possible, "I don't think anybody else would have gone to such pains to protect my feelings. I had to take advantage. It was only fair. All you ever had to do was tell me it sucked and to try again. But nope, each and every time, you dutifully ate everything that I ever sat in front of you. I almost choked a couple of times, to keep from laughing."

"Oh? When ever that happened, I thought that you'd just taken a bite of your own food." Chuckie shot back and Tommy only laughed.

"It was too funny, that look you'd get on your face when I gave you seconds."

"I can't believe you!"

"I kept waiting for you to give in and just tell me it was horrible."

"Well, it was horrible! I almost threw up the first time."

"It wasn't that bad." Tommy said, laughing again.

"Yeah it was, I almost died! I spent the whole next day in the bathroom!"

"You didn't almost die." Tommy laughed harder and then so did Chuckie and soon they were both doubled over, an almost hysteric laughter taking hold of them, tears slipping out the corner of theirs eyes, as they laughed harder than they had in years. Each time they thought they had calmed down, they would glance at each other and start all over again and they were gasping for breath, cheeks and stomachs cramping, and the tears still coming and by the time they finally stopped, he wasn't sure if they were for joy or heartache.

Looking over at Tommy, he found his friend with a quiet, contemplative expression and wondered if his friend was wondering the same things as he. He knew he was laughing for the joy of the moment, but he was sure that there was a part of him, crying, mourning the memories of the past. Tommy finally seemed to decide on something and he glanced up from his picking at his plate and smiled at him.

"Old times, eh?" he said simply and Chuckie nodded. That was all they needed. They ate their meal in silence and occasionally glanced up to smile at one another.

After dinner, they made their way to the living room where Tommy flipped through the channels before landing on "The Rundown" with the Rock and Seann William Scott. TNT played it constantly and Chuckie enjoyed it every time.

Tommy was asleep within the first fifteen minutes. Chuckie found himself wide-awake, his long nap coming back to haunt him. He found his eyes drifting between the television and his friend, not sure why he was suddenly transfixed by the sight of Tommy's eyelashes against his skin. Tommy groaned and shifted in his sleep and Chuckie jumped, turning back to the television. He felt his face heat up, embarrassed. He chided himself for the creepy behavior before turning his focus back to the TV. The two main characters had been fed the paralyzing fruit and the Rock was attempting to scare off the monkeys.

After several more minutes, he found his eyes returning to Tommy's face, and with a sigh of disgust at himself, he stood and went into the kitchen. He poured himself a glass of water and sat heavily into a chair with an angry sigh. Sipping the water, he set his head on the table and groaned with frustration. He sat like that for a while until his eyes focused in on something. An open cupboard, a worn paper sack, and he shot up, eyes fixated on it. If he was ever going to get a look in the bag, now was the time. With another groan, he pressed his eyes closed and pinched the bridge of his nose. A determination settled somewhere in him and he stood and made his way to the cupboard. Several heavy steps, each one just a little bit harder. Whatever he found in the bag, he knew was going to change everything. There was no going back. His hands had just closed in on the bag, when Tommy's voice sounded behind him.

"Hey sorry 'bout taking up the-" he spun around, too fast, too guilty and Tommy trailed off, staring at him, surprised then angry. "What are you doing?" he asked, voice flat, hard.

"I… uh…nothing, it's just-" He stuttered now, screaming at himself silently to just shut up or form a coherent sentence. Tommy came forward and tore the still unopened bag from his stunned fingers.

"Just what? Are you seriously snooping through my shit?!" he snapped and turned abruptly without waiting for a response, "I'm going to bed." He stalked off leaving Chuckie still frozen in shock, speechless. He wasn't sure whether to try and follow Tommy or leave him alone.

Finally, he went and tapped lightly on his friend's door. Only silence answered him. With a sigh, he went and collapsed onto the couch, suddenly exhausted. He flipped on his back and stared at the ceiling. Now he knew at least, that there really was something in the bag and he wasn't just overly paranoid or imaginative. He felt a deeper resolve to got a look at the bags contents and Tommy was now much more aware of his search for it.

Why didn't he just ask? How hard would that have been? He was a freaking idiot. He sighed, angry with himself for not even entertaining the idea of asking Tommy straight out. He knew why though and that was because he knew his best friend, how he was. Tommy would only deflect, not answer, make it a joke or something and turn it around on him. He wouldn't get a straight answer. And with Tommy on high alert, it would be all that much harder to get to the bottom of the situation.

A heaviness settled in his gut. He had a bad feeling about tomorrow.

And how many flippin times did Chuckie sigh during this??? What the heck is wrong with me!?

Tehehe. Review please, love it, hate it (why are you still here then???) or just really, really, bored?  Lemme know.


	9. Just a Little Nervous

Okay, you're all like, what the hell? An update? So soon???? I know, I know. Is it the end of the world? No, folks, I just have a LOT of homework that I'm just so damn determined to avoid, so instead of doing it, I'm working on the story. Not to mention, I have a great sympathy for my wonderful readers.

Also, so I'm posting this without going back and rereading it, so beware! Okay, also.

ENJOY.

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He woke the next morning to an empty house. A pot of coffee was made, still hot. A note sat on the table.

"Be back tonight. Party's at 7."

He poured himself some coffee and sat down to stare at the table, rereading the note. At least Tommy was "talking" to him. Even if it was only through writing. Sighing, he stood to make himself a breakfast of eggs and toast, turning on the radio and flipping through the stations and listening with only half-hearted interest.

After polishing off the coffee and his breakfast, he washed his dishes and the few that were in the sink and soon he had broken out the vacuum cleaner, washed the counters, and was in danger of mopping the kitchen floor when his cell phone rang. He had to hunt around for his cell phone before finding it on the TV stand and realized Tommy must have set it up there since the last time he'd seen it, it had been in danger of disappearing under the couch. He didn't recognize the number and flipped it open, somewhat nervous, hoping that it was Tommy.

"Hello?"

"Hey, Chuckie."

"Oh, hey Kimi." He said, and tried to fight off the wave of disappointment but it was clear in his voice.

"Well, geez, don't sound _too _excited." Kimi said, and he could clearly see her rolling her eyes.

"Sorry. Tommy and I kind of had an argument last night and I thought you were him."

"Oh." She was silent for a moment, "Well, I was calling 'cause we haven't had any quality time and I wanted to see if you wanted to go to lunch."

"Yeah sure."

"Cool. I'll pick you up in about an hour. How's that?"

"Sounds fine… where we going?" Chuckie asked looking down, still wearing the rumpled clothing from the first morning.

"No place you need to dress up for, don't worry." She said, grinning.

"I wasn't worried about that." He lied.

"Well, I was going to take you over to Target to pick up some clothes anyways. It just wont do to have my brother walking around looking like a hobo."

"I don't look like I hobo."

"Walking around for four days in the same clothes?" She said, "That's the kind of thing they'll bring up when I run for president."

"What?" He gave a half laugh.

"Hey, they look for anything nowadays, and well, since I'm perfect, they'll be looking at my family." She said and he could her the smirk in her voice.

"Yeah, perfect, sure." He said and she broke down and laughed.

"I'll see you in a bit."

"Alright." They hung up simultaneously. He went into the bathroom where he shaved and took a quick shower and did his best to straighten out his clothes, all the time doing his best not to think about Tommy. He and Tommy rarely ever fought growing up, and when they did, all they had to do was back off for a day or two and then one would call the other and it was as if it had never happened. What if time apart wasn't going to be enough? He groaned and rubbed at his face. He feared that maybe whatever was in the bag was going to be the biggest wedge they'd ever had driven between them and it might be something that they couldn't come back from.

A knock on the door startled him and he jumped. Kimi smiled at him when he opened the door and she turned to walk back toward the car. She wore a gray pantsuit that was a stark contrast to her usual bright, creative clothing. He locked the door and followed her.

"I don't know about you being a politician." He said when they climbed into her Benz.

"Oh? Why not?"

"You wont be able to keep up this good behavior for too long. Or the clothes." He said. She laughed in response and started the car.

"So, where we going?"

"Target first, you look worse than I thought." He made a noise of indignation but said nothing. "And a steakhouse for lunch."

At Target, Chuckie was thoroughly and severely reminded why he hated shopping with anybody, let alone his sister. She insisted on picking clothes for him to try on, knowing full well that he'd never wear them. She refused to let up on several outfits and he somehow found himself walking out of Target with two bags full of clothes he was sure were going to end up in the bottom of his dresser once he got home. He wore a pair of jeans and a black tee out of the store. Kimi had a gloating smile on her face but said nothing when he grumbled about wasted money and wasted space.

The steakhouse was only several minutes away and they were soon sitting across from each other in a booth against a window. The waitress took their orders and Kimi soon had an iced tea and he, a water, sitting in front of them. He sipped it in silence while they waited for their food.

"So, what were you n' Tommy arguing about?"

"Huh?' He turned to her, having forgotten he'd told her that morning, "Um, well, you know."

"If I did, I wouldn't be asking." She said lightly, smiling.

"I'm just worried about him, and, you know how he is. He doesn't like to be worried about." He said, hoping that she'd buy it.

"You amaze me, Chuckie." She said.

"What?"

"You honestly think you can get away with lying? To me? You sorely under estimate me."

"I'm not lying." He said.

"Oh please, you know your voice gets all squeaky and you get those little beads of sweat on your forehead." He instinctively brought his hand up to wipe his forehead and she laughed when his hand came down dry.

"So come on, what's up?" Kimi persisted. Chuckie looked, trying to figure out the best way to satiate her curiosity and still not give up everything, especially since he wasn't really sure about anything.

"I'm worried he might be drinking too much."

"Hmm." Kimi said in response and the waitress thankfully chose that moment to appear and slide their plates in front of them. He dug into his mashed garlic potatoes and ignored Kimi's gaze as she sliced her steak.

"I'm not really surprised." She said after a few moments and he looked up, startled.

"Huh?"

"Well, he's had so much happen. Their parents dying, Dil going off to college, and you, of course."

"What?" But Kimi took that moment to flag down the waitress to ask for some more of the steak sauce, and then as she walked away. Kimi's phone started ringing and she opened it. Chuckie glared at her, as though she'd planned this.

"Hello?…. Oh hey, Tommy." Chuckie dropped his fork and it clattered loudly against his plate. Kimi looked up and grinned at him. "How's everything going?… Oh, yeah, not a problem. What all did you need?… Okay…. No, really. It's not a problem… Okay, see you tonight." She hung up and went back to eating her food, not bothering to even glance at Chuckie who was waiting for her to speak.

"Well?"

"Well, what?" She asked.

"What'd he want?"

"Oh, just wanted me to pick up some stuff for tonight."

"And, what'd you mean earlier? About me?"

"You? You're such an egotist." Kimi said teasingly.

"C'mon, you have to explain yourself." He said, more than a little frustrated and Kimi simply went back to eating. Chuckie stared at her, waiting for her to cave. She didn't and carefully avoided his gaze.

"You're a jerk." He finally decided and they finished their meals.

Kimi dropped him off with the promise to be back at about 6, saying she had a few things to do for her boss before she came back. He flipped the TV on, determined to zone out until Tommy got to the house and he was forced to address all the issues that had come out in the past couple of days.

At about five, the front door opened and Chuckie shot up. Tommy came in, two grocery bags in hands. He refused to glance his way and, after setting the bags on the kitchen table and walked to his bedroom without a word.

Chuckie sighed and sat back against the couch. Perhaps he should just get his car ready to go. Tommy was sure to kick him out when it was all over and done with. What a pain.

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I know I'm mean. You thought you were getting something good. Anywho... Reviews are always appreciated.


	10. An Awful Mess

Hey, okay, fairly long chapter. Hm. This stupid reader traffic tool is making me obsessed. Why is it that I still get more hits on _Rebellion_ then even the stories I'm writing right now? I kind of want to take it down, it's so embarrasing! Whatever... *pout* I just want some love!

Note for the chapter: I do not condone any form of alcohol misuse or abuse. Also, while I don't think weed is as awful as the government propaganda would have you believe, I do not condone its illegal use. (*cough cough* 4:20! kidding!!) Remember chil'uns, binge drinking is incredibly dangerous and just not smart. I've seen enough of its aftermath to know it is neither attractive nor fun (buh-lieve me).

Please enjoy!

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Tommy stayed in his room until Kimi knocked on the door at 6, carrying two bags of alcohol and a bag of chips and dip. As Chuckie helped her with the bags, Tommy came out of the hallway, looking as though he'd tried to take nap and had failed miserably. Upon seeing him, Chuckie tried to catch his eye, to apologize but his friend was pointedly ignoring his gaze. Kimi raised her eyebrows and followed Tommy into the kitchen where they set all the bags.

"I'm going to order some pizza in a little bit, what kind did you want Kimi?" Tommy asked, and his voice was a little hoarse.

"You know I'll eat whatever." She said and glanced over at Chuckie. Tommy followed her gaze before glancing back at her fairly quickly, as though afraid to even meet his eyes.

"I know what he wants." Tommy said almost immediately, "Mushroom and pepperoni, right?" he added, not bothering to even look in his direction.

"Uh, yeah." Chuckie answered.

"I still have a bag in the car and my CD's, Tommy, can you give me a hand?" Kimi asked. Tommy nodded after sending a furtive glance in his direction. Chuckie watched the two of them head out of the room and he shook his head in slight frustration. He busied himself with setting up all the liquor on the counter and putting the dips in the fridge. When the other two walked in a couple of minutes later, Tommy came and stood by him. Chuckie glanced at him surprised. Kimi went over to the stereo in the living room and started flipping through her CD's, her back to them.

"I'm mad at you." Tommy muttered finally. Chuckie mouthed wordlessly for a moment, unable to think of the correct response. Finally he sighed.

"I know."

"I'm not going to forgive you right now."

"Uh. Okay."

"I'm only letting you know."

"Okay."

"Now tell Kimi to leave me alone." Tommy said and the two finally met each other's eyes and Chuckie was sure he caught a smile in his friend's gaze.

The tension that had permeated the room earlier had been somewhat alleviated but neither of the two men were really talking directly to each other, preferring instead to talk to Kimi. After glaring at the both of them, she regaled them with her latest political tales as her music played in the background and they waited for the other guests.

Phil showed up shortly after 6:30, bringing with him more alcohol and a couple of friends that he didn't recognize. They were introduced as his friends from the "tank," which Chuckie could only surmise referred to the drunk tank and he fought off a roll of the eyes. As seven rolled around, people began to show up and Chuckie started to recognize a few faces and remember a couple of names. Soon, the music was loud, reverberating against the windowpanes and his eardrums. Phil made his rounds, goading everyone and anyone into taking shots. Chuckie let himself get into a small battle, but after three shots of tequila, he conceded and let Phil take the win. He wanted to make sure he still had his head on straight for the night.

After chatting with a two classmates from high school for a bit, he snatched up a slice of pizza, not sure when it had arrived, and made his way to the kitchen to grab a beer. He knew he was a little out of it when he realized he was humming along to the radio and that he had been standing in the door way of the kitchen for several minutes without moving. Laughing at himself quietly, he started again for the fridge and grabbed a cold Newcastle, the old saying, "beer before liquor never sicker; liquor before beer in the clear" going through his mind. He grabbed a bottle opener from the counter and fought briefly against the cap. Unfortunately, just as he managed to pry the lid off, a voice spoke behind him. Startled, he jerked and the beer instantly shot out of the bottle and over his shirt.

"Party foul!!" Phil shouted behind him, laughing. Tommy stood with him, a grin on his face.

"Damn." Chuckie muttered.

"There's a line for the bathroom, you can go change in my room." Tommy said gesturing at his pants, which had also caught some of the beer. Nodding, he set his beer down and headed for the bedroom, stopping only to grab his bag of clothes. He tossed the plastic bag onto the dresser, not bothering to turn the light on. He had just finished buttoning his pants when the door swung open and the light was flicked on. He turned and found Tommy looking in, a strange expression on his face.

"'Sup?" He asked.

"Phil and Kimi are about to have a little competition." Tommy said finally.

"Okay." And he grabbed the target bag from the dresser, unaware that he'd tossed it onto something else, until it slid to the floor, "Oh, sorry." He said and went to pick it up.

"No, that's okay. I got it." Tommy came forward quickly to stop him. But his hands had already closed in on the same bag he'd been trying to get a look at for two days. Its contents had spilled across the floor, and slowly his eyes took everything in. He looked up at Tommy who had a look of frozen fear and trepidation. His gaze returned to everything on the floor. He ran his fingers over the bottles, the pills, and closed in on a small plastic baggy with several green buds.

"Tommy?" Chuckie glanced up again. His friend had crossed his arms over his chest, shaking his head.

"Nah man, Nah."

"Weed, Tommy!? Vicodin!? Sleeping pills!?" Chuckie said, voice rising as he spoke.

"Huh-uh. Don't. Not right now." Tommy said, shaking his head even more vigorously.

"Yes. Yes, right now." He snapped, "We need to talk about this." Tommy glared at him defiantly. He leaned forward and snatched up one of the bottles, opening it and dumping some pills into his hand before he could react. Tommy smirked and tossed the bottle at him.

"Tommy!" Chuckie gathered up everything and put it back in the bag.

"We don't need to talk about shit." Tommy started out of the room. Chuckie stood and caught his arm.

"No. I'm not going to let you ruin your life."

"TOO DAMN LATE!!!" Tommy whirled at him, raising his hands as though to push him away but he only opened and closed his fists before dropping them to his sides. He turned and left the room. Chuckie looked at the paper bag in his hands before shoving it into his clothes bag and following Tommy to the living room.

A crowd had gathered in the living room and was shouting and cheering. He could make out Phil and Kimi's heads, both presumably taking shots. He didn't see Tommy and continued toward the kitchen. The younger man was there, pouring himself a glass of tequila. He cringed, thinking about the pills that his friend had just taken.

"Tommy. You shouldn't be drinking." He said, taking the glass from the counter and out of Tommy's reach.

"Goddammit!" Tommy snapped, turning on him again. Chuckie grabbed the tequila bottle and turned toward the sink, but Tommy knocked the glass from his hand and it fell to the floor. It shattered, sending glass shards and tequila across their bare feet and the kitchen floor.

"Shit, Tommy. What the hell?" Chuckie said. Tommy only glowered at him.

"Hey. What's going on? Everything okay?" the two men turned toward the doorway where Kimi, Phil and a few other people stood.

"Yeah, he just dropped a glass." Tommy finally muttered.

"Stay there, I'll get the broom." Kimi said and came in, still wearing her shoes. The other spectators left the door way. Kimi grabbed a hand towel from a drawer and tossed it at Chuckie. He caught it and bent down to start mopping up the liquor, careful to avoid the shards of glass. Kimi came over with the broom and together they started cleaning it up. Tommy waited for a moment before taking the few steps out of the kitchen.

"Should we call it a night?" Kimi asked. Chuckie groaned and rubbed his face with free hand.

"I don't know." He said finally, "I guess. Tommy… he's- Well, I have to talk with him."

"I'll let Phil know and we can herd the people over to his house or something." Kimi said, "Will you be okay?"

"I hope." He said. Kimi stood, having swept all the glass into the dustpan. They both went into the living room where Tommy was drinking a beer. Chuckie fought the urge to run and snatch it from his friend. Phil caught the siblings coming from the kitchen and headed over.

"What's up?" he asked.

"We're gonna take the party over to your house. That okay?" Kimi asked. Phil nodded, slightly confused.

"Sure, but why?" He asked.

"Tommy's having some issues." Kimi said and she headed off to a group who were dancing, tapping them on the shoulder and gesturing toward the door. Phil glanced over at Chuckie, but he said nothing before walking over to his "tank" friends. Slowly, people made their way toward the door, still holding their beers and shot glasses. Tommy was fairly unaware of the slow migration until the music cut off and he looked around.

"Hey! Hey what's going on? Where's everyone going!?" He shouted jumping up and glaring over at Chuckie.

"Party's over, Tommy." He said finally.

"No! This is my house!" the younger man shouted and started toward the door, slamming his leg into the coffee table and falling back against the couch. This seemed to decide it for some of the guests who had lagged behind, and they all turned toward the door, having seen enough of drunken ravings to know the signs. Phil and Kimi lingered by the door, hesitant to leave Chuckie with the near rabid Tommy.

"You going to be okay?" Kimi asked him, and Chuckie forced a smile and nodded.

"Give us a call in the morning, a'ight?" Phil said.

"Yeah, sure." He waved them off and turned back to Tommy as the door shut. His younger friend had not moved from the couch but he jumped up when Chuckie turned toward him.

"Fuck you man." He snarled, shoving past him toward the kitchen. Chuckie caught himself and followed his friend, already exhausted. Tommy was sitting at the table, a new bottle of beer in his hands.

"Get out of my house." Tommy said, not looking at him.

"I'm not going to leave you right now, not like this."

"Like what?!" he snapped.

"Tommy. You know I'm your best friend and I only want what's best-"

"Best friend?! Yeah fuckin right! How many times did you call me over the past three years?! You have no right to call me that!" Tommy gripped in his hair in his hands and collapsed against the table, "You left just like everyone else and I'm rotting here!" Chuckie faltered, wondering if this was simply a drunken man's ravings or the actual pains and thoughts of his friend. Either way. He sighed and settled into a chair next to his friend.

"Tommy, I'm sorry, alright? We can talk about this tomorrow, when you're sober."

"Don't patronize me. I might be drunk but I'm not stupid." He stood and started digging through the cupboards, "Where the fuck is my bag?" Chuckie rubbed his face and sighed again. He didn't even remember that it had been moved to his bedroom. Tommy practically stomped toward the door of the kitchen.

"Tommy, I'm going to call Dil later. He needs-"

"No." Tommy looked back, wild-eyed, "Don't tell Dil." His voice and face suddenly seriously calm, "Please don't tell Dil. He doesn't need to know."

"Then you agree that this is bad. What you're doing is wrong." Chuckie said, glad to get an admission of some kind, glad he hadn't lost Tommy completely.

"Hey! I don't need to listen to your 'holier than thou' bullshit alright!? Fuck you!"

"I didn't mean it like that!" Chuckie shouted back. He threw his hands up in exasperation. He couldn't get into an argument with a drunk man.

"Goddammit!" Tommy said, raking his hands through his hair and sliding down against the wall. He curled his legs up to his chest and clasped his hands over his bowed head. Chuckie got up from the table and went to sit beside him. They sat in silence for a little bit. Chuckie wondering how his optimistic friend had gotten so lost, so messed up and if this was his fault.

"I'm not really that bad…" Tommy said, bringing his head up and Chuckie looked over as his friends voice cracked and he saw tears coursing down his face.

"Hey, we don't have to do this right now, alright?" Chuckie put a hand on his shoulder and gave a squeeze. His friend turned toward him as though to say something, but when he opened his mouth, the only thing to come out was all that he'd eaten that day.

"Ah!" Chuckie leaned back as Tommy crawled onto his knees, still hurling. Chuckie grimaced, wiping his hands off on his dirtied shirt, "Disgusting." He said and stripped his shirt off, careful not to let any of the throw up touch his bare skin. Tommy sat back and looked over, eyes half closed and face flushed and sweaty.

"Sorry, I'm sorry." He said, wiping his mouth.

"No, that's fine." Chuckie started but Tommy bent over and started again. Chuckie stood.

"I'm gonna get you a pan, okay?" he went and dug in the cupboard and came back with a big stew pot, setting it in front of Tommy who had paused again. Chuckie wet a washcloth and took the time the wipe the sweat from Tommy's forehead. His flesh was hot to the touch. Tommy let out a groan in misery and Chuckie almost pitied him. He sat back down, on his friends other side, away from the puke.

"I'm sorry Chuck. I didn't mean it, what I said-"

"Shh… we'll talk about it later." Chuckie said soothingly, wiping the towel over the other mans face. Tommy relented and leaned back, closing his eyes.

"Hey, Tommy let's get you to your room okay? We'll get some clean clothes on you and put you to bed alright?" Chuckie stood and leaned down to help hoist the other man to his feet. Chuckie led him down the hall to his bedroom and set him on the bed. He turned and started pulling clothes from Tommy's dresser. When he turned back to hand them to the younger man, Tommy was shaking his head.

"I gotta take a shower first."

"Tommy. Look at me." Chuckie waited for his intoxicated friend to meet his gaze, "You are not sober enough to get in the shower. You'll fall and hurt yourself."

"No I wont. I do it all the time."

"What? You regularly shower after you've pumped yourself full of drugs and alcohol?" Chuckie snapped, fear and the anger born from it gripped his chest rather tightly as he imagined Tommy slipping and falling in a drug-induced state.

"There you go again! Stop talking to me like that!" Tommy said.

"Like what?! I'm not talking to you like anything!"

"Yeah, you are! Like you're better than me!"

"No I'm not! Excuse me for trying to come to terms with the fact that a man I considered my hero for 24 years is actually just as fucked up and stupid as the rest of us, okay?!" Chuckie lost his temper for the third time or so that night and he sighed and leaned against the dresser, head bowed as he tried to calm himself. Tommy stood and left the room and Chuckie started when he heard the shower. He crossed the hall to the bathroom and found Tommy sitting on the toilet, in the process of removing his clothing.

"Know what? Fine, take a shower. I'm going to go clean up. If you need me, holler." Chuckie left just as Tommy stood to remove his boxers. He made his way to the kitchen and took a moment to sink into a chair and close his eyes. He buried his face in his hands and took a deep breath. This was one of the worst nights of his life. All he wanted was to fall asleep and not wake up for a good 48 hours and yet he knew that this was really only the beginning. He sighed again and stood, gathering up towels and some plastic bags. He knelt next to the mess and started cleaning it, resisting the urge to dry heave. The shower turned off and he listened carefully as Tommy climbed out of the shower. When no crash came, he turned back to the task at hand.

Finally satisfied, he made his way to Tommy's room. His friend was currently sprawled across his bed, eyes closed, towel still wrapped around his waist. He had to fight the urge to run to check his breathing, afraid that the drugs had gotten to his system. Instead, he chose to see if his friend was awake before rushing over to check his vitals.

"Tommy." He called softly, the other man lifted his head slowly off the bed and Chuckie bit back a sigh of relief.

"Chuckie. Chuck, can you do me a favor?" he asked, falling back against the comforter.

"Yeah, bud?"

"Can you sleep with me tonight?" he asked and Chuckie heard him wait with bated breath. He thought a moment. The worst that could happen was Tommy throwing up on him again, and anyway they'd been sharing beds for years.

"Yeah Tommy, sure thing." He said finally. He waited for Tommy pull his boxers on before he flicked the light off. Barefoot and shirtless, he climbed next to his friend. He closed his eyes and listened to the breathing of his drunken friend. Tommy shifted over onto his side, facing his direction. Chuckie opened his eyes using the pale moonlight to seek out his friends gaze.

"Yeah?" Chuckie asked. The younger man said nothing, simply reached a hand over, briefly touched his cheek, grazing his knuckles against his five 'o'clock shadow before reaching down and grasping his hand.

"Good night Chuck." He said once he had the redhead's hand firmly held in his own, "Thanks for being here." Tommy murmured as he drifted off to sleep. Chuckie squeezed his friend's hand as he, too, felt sleep capturing him. Thoughts of the last time they'd been like this going through his mind, just after the accident.

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Review please. Or I wont post any more!!! So kidding!!! I hate when people do that. How obnoxious!!!

But really, any thoughts, ideas or opinions???


	11. The Day That Changed Us

I fully intended this to be a so much shorter than it is. Anyways, getting closer to the end. What a relief right?

Upon rereading the last couple of chapters, I saw how jumpy it was. How irritating, I might have to go back and fix it (haha, riiiight). I forever vow not to have the television on when I'm typing... okay, anything _good _on, anyways. How's that?

I don't normally approve of the excessive use of italics, but well, you'll see.

Let me know what you think

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_Chuckie had just fallen asleep, exhausted from work and smelling from head to toe of fruit smoothies and coffee, having been too tired even to shower. His dad shook his shoulder gently, whispering his name. He slowly, begrudgingly came back to consciousness. His dad was sitting on the bed, causing it to dip a little under his weight. He groaned, annoyed, sure his dad was going to ask if knew where the remote control was or something equally stupid. He turned over to glare at his dad from sleepy eyes. _

"_What do-" the question died in his throat when he saw his father's red-rimmed eyes, saw his mom in the door, holding Kimi as she cried into her mother's shirt, He bolted upright, wide awake, his panicked mind casting through a million possibilities. "What? What's happened? Is grandma okay?" She'd battled pneumonia last winter but she'd gotten better, hadn't she?_

"_Grandma's fine, Chuckie." His dad said and rested his hands on his shoulders._

"_Then what?! What's wrong!?" His eyes darted from his dad to his mom. He could feel the onset of a panic attack and made an effort to take several deep breaths._

"_It's the Pickles…" his father's voice trailed off as though afraid to speak it and Chuckie fought against the fear that shook him._

"_Tommy? Is it Tommy???" He asked. He hadn't talked to his best friend since yesterday, maybe something had happened to him. _

"_No. Tommy's absolutely fine." Chaz said, and his voice broke as though he didn't even truly believe what he was saying, "There was a car accident… a bus hit their car…"_

"_Who? Who was in the car?" Chuckie asked, suddenly furious that his dad wouldn't just spit it out, would make it so drawn out, would make him imagine a million scenarios. Kira came to the rescue and swept in, guiding Kimi gently to her father and sitting close to him. _

"_It was Didi, Stu and Dil." She answered and Chuckie hated himself for feeling even the teensiest bit relief that it wasn't Tommy._

"_How are they?" he asked, but looking at his teary-eyed family, he knew it wasn't good._

"_Dil's in surgery right now." His mom said and grabbed his hands with hers, "They said he'll survive."_

"_But… Didi and Stu?" Kira ducked her head and brought his shaking body to hers in a warm hug._

"_They didn't make it, sweetheart." She said finally. He felt the tears he'd been fighting off. He stayed like that for a moment before prying himself away from his mother and wiping his eyes._

"_Does Tommy know?" He asked and his mother nodded, her jaw quivering. _

"_He's at the hospital with Drew and Charlotte right now." _

"_We gotta go. We have to be with him." He said and crawled out of the bed with some difficulty, considering his entire family was sitting on it. His mother and father looked at each other for a second before turning back to him and nodding. _

"_Kimi, honey? Did you want to go too?" Chaz asked, turning to his daughter who had been crying silently the entire time. She nodded immediately._

"_He needs us there." She said in a shaking voice. Chuckie slid a jacket over his t-shirt, bothering only to slide a pair of slippers on his feet, thankful he'd had the energy to change into a pair of pajama pants before he'd collapsed onto his bed. The rest of his family didn't move fast enough, although he knew they were rushing as well. Chaz drove and Kira sat in the back in between the two kids, holding Kimi against her and gripping Chuckie's hand so hard it was almost painful._

_The drive was excruciatingly slow and he tried to think about anything except for what was happening. Anything except for what this meant for his two friends. Anything except for what Tommy was feeling. He concentrated solely on the feel of his mother's hand in his own, on the sound of Kimi's sniffles, the smell of the banana-strawberry smoothie that permeated from his own skin, the sight of the trees and lights flashing by. _

_His legs were shaking when they got there and he did his best to stay with his family and not run ahead, eager and terrified to see his best friend, wanting badly to support him and afraid that it wouldn't be enough. When they got to the emergency room, none of the Pickle's was there and they were told that Dil had been sent to the O.R. on the second floor and they waited impatiently in the elevator with an old woman. _

_Tommy was sitting with his back to them, completely rigid and unmoving. Drew sat on one side, gripping the back of Tommy's chair with white knuckles. Charlotte sat on the other, practically cradling Angelica on her lap, despite the fact that she was almost twenty and a good inch taller than her mother. The Finster family came around the line of chairs to face them. Chuckie sought out Tommy's eyes as Drew stood abruptly._

"_Glad you guys could come, it means a lot." He said in a low grumble as he shook Chaz's hand._

"_Of course." He said. Charlotte stood as well, keeping Angelica close to her side and the two families came together, speaking quietly. Tommy had not moved at all, he didn't seem to register anything and his eyes were glued to the floor. His hands were curled into his fists on his thighs. Chuckie knelt down in front of his friend and grabbed the younger teens knees. Vaguely he heard Drew talking in a low voice to somebody, one of his parents he was sure._

"_He hasn't moved or talked since we got here. I don't think he's even cried. I really think he's in shock."_

_Chuckie saw Tommy's eyes focusing in on him, slowly. Finally, there was a small bit of recognition in them. His friend fell off the chair into his arms and they held each other tightly, both on their knees of the hospital floor. He wasn't sure how long they sat there, just holding each other, but a doctor wearing scrubs came into the waiting room and Chaz knelt beside the two of them and put a hand on their shoulders. They pulled apart, gripping each other's hand. The doctor had a small smile on his face at he looked at the group._

"_Well, there's a lot of good news. We successfully stopped the internal bleeding. There was puncture wound from a bit of metal shrapnel that caused his lung to collapse and sent him into a brief coma. The shrapnel's been removed and his lung is in the process of healing. We'll be taking some x-rays to monitor its progress. One of his legs was broken, it was a complete, lateral fracture, clean break, which is good since he's still growing. We'll be monitoring that as well. The bone broke the skin though, so they're in the process of debridement as we speak and he's been given a round of antibiotics to stave off infections. We've also given him a tetanus shot, just in case. _

"_There were a few, fairly severe lacerations and the worst have been stitched up and bandaged. Overall, he'll have some gnarly scars but he should heal just fine. He should be out of the surgery in about an hour and they'll move him to a room in Intensive Care. After that, if he remains stable they'll probably send him to pediatrics on the fourth floor. If everything goes well, he'll be able to leave in a week or two, with restrictions of course." _

_Throughout the doctor's speech, Tommy kept his eyes closed and once the doctor finished, a single tear slipped down his cheek. Charlotte thanked the doctor and the families settled back into their chairs. Chuckie helped Tommy into a chair and sat next to him, Tommy's hand still tight on his own. He was only half aware that the adults were talking, his eyes glued to Tommy's face. Only the lone tear had escaped his eyes. _

_They sat like that in silence for a long while, Chuckie constantly fighting the urge to break down and sob. He needed to be strong for Tommy. There was time to cry later. There was a brief moment when he wasn't sure if he should try to say something, until he remembered who he was, who Tommy was and the nature of their friendship. There was no need for words. Tommy knew everything that was worth saying. And so they just held each other's hand. _

_Eventually, Chaz approached and knelt next to the two teens, putting a hand on Tommy's arm and meeting Chuckie's gaze, "We're gonna head home-" Tommy's hand tightened reflexively, painfully, on his own. Chaz caught the reaction and gave the barest ghost of a smile, "We've talked to Drew and he's going to stay here with you two. Tommy, tomorrow, Kira's going down to the school to see about getting you and Dil's work for the next couple of weeks so you don't get too far behind. Yours too, Chuckie. We'll be back tomorrow. Give me a call if you need anything at all, okay?" Chuckie nodded and after a moment, so did Tommy._

_An hour later they were in the ICU. The waiting room was empty of all but Tommy, Chuckie and Drew. The doctor informed them that Dil was in a drug-induced coma for the pain and wouldn't be conscious for another day or so. The three of them sat there in silence for a long while, until Drew stood abruptly. Chuckie glanced over, surprised and Drew met his gaze for a second before giving a slight nod and leaving the waiting room at a quick pace. _

_Chuckie's heart went out to him. He had lost his younger brother. His anguish probably rivaled Tommy's. Chuckie couldn't even begin to imagine how he would feel if he ever lost Kimi. For all he'd seen, Drew had kept himself together extremely well, but he was sure it was all for Tommy's sake. He gave Tommy's hand a slight squeeze and ran his thumb over the back of his hand in an absentminded fashion. Their silent vigil continued._

_A few minutes later, Tommy's grip loosened from his own. Chuckie turned, startled. His friend had shifted, ever so slightly, so his back was angled toward him. He straightened a bit, concerned._

"_I have to tell you something." His friend said, his voice tremulous and hoarse. _

"_Yeah, sure."_

"_It's about the accident."_

"_What about it?" He asked, worried. Tommy was silent and Chuckie waited patiently._

"_You, you have to promise me. Promise you wont say anything. To anybody."_

"_Of course. I do, I promise." Worry gripping him even tighter._

"_The accident… it, it was all my fault." Tommy's voice cracked._

"_What? What do you mean?"_

"_I… I was supposed to take Dil tonight. I promised I'd take him and his friend to the movies. But, Sean's party was tonight. I asked him to have Mom and Dad take him. He was upset, I'd lied to him. I broke my promise. But he said okay, anyways. Mom and Dad, they were going to see a play. It wasn't too far out of their way. They would all be on time. I promised him, Chuckie. And I didn't do it. It's all my fault. They're gone because of me! And Dil, oh god. Dil's going to hate me." As Tommy threatened to break down, Chuckie leaned across the arm of the chair and pulled him into a tight embrace._

"_Shhh… no, he wont. He wont hate you. It's not your fault." He said, and Tommy let out a low keening wail into his shoulder, hands clutching his shirt in desperation._

"_Oh, Tommy." Chuckie felt his heart break all over and he had to fight off the tears once more, "It's not your fault."_

"_Yes it is! Don't you get it? If I'd kept my promise, if I'd taken him to the movies. They wouldn't have been there. It wouldn't have been them! If I'd kept my promise…" and the sobs wracked his body all over again, making the both of them shake with the force of it._

"_It's not your fault." He whispered firmly, gripping the back of Tommy's head, "It's not your fault." Tommy cried harder._

"_How could he ever forgive me?" _

"_Nothing to forgive Tommy, he'll know that." Tommy only pressed his forehead against Chuckie's shoulder and shook his head slowly. Eventually the younger teen brought a hand to his face to wipe away the tears. He sat back, looking almost embarrassed at his outburst._

"_Do something for me, Tommy?" Chuckie asked, his friend met his gaze, eyes puffy, lined with red. "Say it's not your fault. Let me know that you know it's not your fault." Tommy's chin quivered and fresh tears welled up in his eyes and he looked upward, blinking rapidly._

"_I can't, not right now. Maybe, eventually. " He finally said and Chuckie nodded, hugging him once more. They settled back into their chairs, hands linking without much thought. _

_Dil stayed at the hospital for a week and a half, loaded up on painkillers and tranquilizers. It wasn't until three days after the accident that Dil was lucid enough to understand what had happened. Tommy asked Chuckie to be with him when he told his brother that their parents were dead. So he sat there, watching the two teens cry. He stood at the end of the hospital bed, gripping Dil's uninjured foot through the white sheets, in what he hoped was a comforting gesture. He felt awkward and unhelpful, wishing that he could just erase their pain, knowing full well that he couldn't. _

_Tommy and Chuckie stayed at the hospital for the length of Dil's stay; Tommy not wanting to leave Dil's side and Chuckie not wanting to leave Tommy's. They left only once to go to Chuckie's house where they showered and slept. The adults were in and out, bringing them books, cards, food and coffee. The nurses gave them blankets and pillows. Kira dropped off their class work. The teachers had written them notes with their condolences and Chuckie was sure the work they were given was really a lightened version. A group of classmates came and visited, bringing with them a giant card signed by what most have been half the school, balloons, flowers and teddy bears. Chuckie and Tommy spent their time doing the work assigned to them. Both of them starting on Dil's work first, ignoring the younger teens protests. He would have a couple of months before he'd be ready to go back to school and neither of the older boys wanted him to get behind. _

_Tommy made most of the arrangements concerning the funeral, although Drew often provided his opinion and helped with things Tommy wasn't sure about. A lawsuit was filed on the teens' behalf. The police had done an investigation. The bus driver had been on medication that made him drowsy. He had been declared at fault for running the red light and was sentenced for involuntary manslaughter. Tommy and Dil were awarded money from the bus company. They found out that if Dil had been on the other side of the car, Tommy would be both an orphan and an only child. _

_The Pickle's stayed at Chuckie's house after Dil was released from the hospital. Tommy sold their old house, not wanting Dil to ever have to set foot back inside it. He bought a smaller one, closer to their high school. The teens, all but Dil, and the parents did the moving. Chuckie spent the first night with the two teens at the house, and the night after that, and the week after that. Chaz and Kira endured their son's absence with brave hearts and made little protest. He spent so many nights there that Tommy ended up just lending Chuckie half of his dresser._

_Dil healed quickly and well. The stitches were gone before he left the hospital. His leg was set in a hard cast for four weeks, before being switched to a walking cast. The worse lacerations had been on his face, but the surgeon had done well with the stitches and there were just three long, thin scars on his face; one across the bridge of his nose, and then two on his cheek that overlapped and looked almost like a cross or an X. Dil adopted a habit of running his finger over the longest scar on his cheek when he was deep in thought. Chuckie caught Tommy's cringe every time he saw the absent minded action. _

_Eventually, things started to return to normal, or as normal as they could ever be. Dil returned to school with better grades than he'd had when he'd left. Tommy and Chuckie returned also. The other parents turned their attentions back to their own children. The group remained as close as they had ever been. Angelica and Susie went off to college together. Chuckie, Tommy, Kimi, Phil, and Lil graduated the year after that, and soon went in their separate directions as friends often do when they're sent out into the world._

_When Chuckie told Tommy he was going to go to D.C for the apprenticeship, his friend smiled and congratulated him. By then, Dil was already in California, had been for almost a year. Chuckie had wrestled with himself. He needed to go, but he hated to leave Tommy. When Tommy gave him his best wishes, he left for D.C, sure that his friend would be fine._

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Chuckie just had no idea, did he?


	12. Your Struggles, Your Pain

*groans* I hate it. I do. Somebody shoot me or cut my hand off so I can no longer write. Anyways.

Oh yeah, this story is now officially longer than Rebellion. Woot.

P.S. We have the slightest bit of "action" *giggles, blushes* in this one... so if you're not into that, just shoo. Though, technically, I don't think it counts... cause, well, you'll see. Geez, this is so embarassing. And it was only a peck too.. *blushes again"

Enjoy if you can *runs away and hides* R&R please.

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The first thought that entered his sleep-addled brain when he woke was that somebody should put some blinds on the window. How could anyone sleep like that? He gave what could only be described as a petulant groan and turned away from the sun. He was jolted awake as his entire left side came into contact with flesh that was not his own. Panicked, he rolled back the other way and opened his eyes. As soon as he saw Tommy everything flooded back and relief washed over him before the heavy, aching tiredness settled into his bones. What was he going to do with his best friend? He still had a week and a half before he needed to be back in town, but no way Tommy would be well enough to be alone, not anymore. He wouldn't have to be alone anymore, not if Chuckie Finster had anything to do with it.

"Well, don't look so cheerful, Sunshine." Tommy's voice snapped him back into reality and he looked down to see the younger man yawning, dark bags underneath his bloodshot eyes. Tommy gave him a slight wink and Chuckie wondered briefly if he was still somewhat inebriated.

"We need to talk." Was all he said and he saw a flicker of fear cross Tommy's face.

"Well, good morning to you too." Came the reserved reply.

"I'm serious Tommy. What you're doing is-"

"Glad to see you slept well." Tommy interrupted, standing slowly, uneasily.

"Tommy Pickles." Chuckie said slowly, firmly, feeling like a foolish boy trying to be a mother hen. But something made Tommy slow, his tone maybe, who knew? "This is something we're going to talk about, something we're going to fix, hear me? _We _are going to fix it. I'm going to help you."

"I'm taking a piss, so you'll have to save the rest of your sermon for later." Tommy continued towards the bathroom and Chuckie leaned against the headboard, rubbing his temples and nearly swearing the day his father set him into a playpen with the younger man. Chuckie tried to think of what would be the best way to get Tommy's attention and then he remembered the night before, when his drunken friend balked at the idea of his brother knowing. That would be his leverage more than anything.

"There you go again, off in outer space." Chuckie jumped at this and narrowed his eyes at the tone. When had Tommy become so callous? So unforgiving? Somewhere between the death of his parents and the calls he'd never gotten from his friend, another part of his brain answered. Tommy started for the door and Chuckie sat up.

"Tommy, if you don't agree to let me help you, if you don't acknowledge you have a problem-"

"Oh, here we go again, the same old bull shit from last night." Chuckie closed his eyes and continued.

"If you don't try and fix this-"

"And here I'd hoped you were only like this when you were drunk."

"-I'm going to tell Dil." He opened his eyes to see Tommy glaring at him viciously, so viciously that he felt something gather in his throat and he tried to swallow it as Tommy advanced.

"If you so much as whisper my name to him, I will never forgive you." He growled. Chuckie attempted to swallow the lump in his throat again.

"This isn't about me, it's about you. If that's your decision then fine but somebody has to help you get better, and if that person has to be Dil, and you don't ever want to see me again, then so be it." He managed, running his fingers nervously through his red hair.

"Not that you'd mind anyway." Tommy muttered, so low he almost didn't hear. He sat up.

"Wh-what? Of course, I'd mind."

"Yeah, I bet anyone who really values a friendship never visits, never calls. I bet everyone wants a loser friend who lives a loser life in a loser town!" Tommy snapped, voice rising in both volume and pitch until he covered his mouth, as though he'd said more than he'd intended. Chuckie sighed and ran a hand over his face again. By now, Tommy looked frantic.

"I'm sorry. I am, Tommy. We can talk about that later. Right now, we need to discuss what we're going to do about this situa-"

"I love you."

"-tion… what?" Chuckie gaped, confused, "What did you just say?"

"I love you. Like that." Tommy continued quickly, earnestly. Chuckie furrowed his eyebrows.

"Wow." He said and closed his eyes, shaking his head and pretending his heart wasn't fluttering wildly in his chest, "Don't play this game with me Tommy. You can't just try and distract me with something like that. It isn't fair."

"I'm not. I swear to God." His friend said, licking his lips nervously. Chuckie's heart skipped a beat and he wiped his sweaty palms across his jeans.

"Then we'll discuss that later, as well." He tried to remain calm, his thoughts completely erratic. This was crazy. How dare Tommy do this to him? How dare he make him feel so light-headed and terrified just to avoid this problem? How dare he?!

"You're not going to avoid this discussion just because you're acting like this-" and suddenly he was cut off as Tommy rushed forward, catching his face in his hands and pressing his lips to his own. To his surprise and horror, he found himself melting into the kiss, into this rouse, this ploy and he shoved Tommy away from him, embarrassed and horrified at himself.

"You stop that!!! Don't!!" he snarled, furious, "Don't do that again!" He wasn't sure who he was angrier with; Tommy, who was so desperate to avoid this topic that he would degrade himself like that, or himself for taking advantage for even a second. He jumped up, suddenly needing to move, to pace and clear his head. After a moment he glanced over at Tommy who still sat on the bed, frozen, face red and sweat sliding down his face as though he couldn't believe what he has just done. Chuckie was sure he looked exactly the same. Unlike his distraught friend he probably didn't look like he was on the verge of tears. With a sigh, he knelt next to the bed, in front of his friend.

"Can we talk about this? No distractions. I need to know about this. I want to help you." Chuckie said finally. Tommy gave him an odd look, still seemingly frightened.

"Y-you don't hate me?" he finally asked.

"Of course I don't." They looked into each other's eyes for another moment and finally, Tommy sighed and wiped at his sweat-slicked face.

"I'm an idiot." He groaned and dropped back onto the bed.

"No. You're acting like a real jack ass right now, but you're not an idiot." Chuckie said and Tommy gave him weak, shaky smile, "You know Tommy… I'm always here for you. If you'd ever needed me these past three years, all you ever had to do was call me."

"And what? Have you come running back every time I felt lonely? Whenever I had a problem? Have you resent me?" Chuckie didn't bother telling him that he could never resent his best friend, and that it had led to Tommy resenting him. Besides, he did have a point.

"We both made some mistakes. We're both at fault for losing touch. I am truly sorry for the part I played in that. Okay?"

"Stop apologizing." Tommy muttered.

"Then stop calling yourself a loser and an idiot." Chuckie shot back, "You're life isn't over. You've got your associates, you can go back to school and get a bachelors and do something…" he trailed off, Tommy was shaking his head.

"I never finished my general ed, I didn't get my associates." He admitted.

"What? But I thought-"

"I couldn't afford it. I'm only making barely above minimum wage and what with sending Dil money-" he froze, as if realizing he'd said too much and Chuckie stared at him.

"I thought Dil won that scholarship. And doesn't he qualify for financial aid, and what about the money from the state?" he asked.

"He didn't win the scholarship." Tommy said, lowering his head to his hands and massaging his temples as thought to fit off a migraine, "I didn't want to tell him, because I didn't want him to feel guilty and stick around here like me. So I told him that he got it and I'd do all the paper work and financial stuff because he'd be too busy with school to bother too much with money. I send him checks every month and he doesn't know the difference."

"What about financial aid? I'm sure you qualify." Chuckie insisted.

"We do, but the out of state tuition is so high, the federal aid only gives him half as much as he needs, and the cost of living over there is outrageous."

"And the state?" Chuckie asked. Tommy didn't say anything and Chuckie persisted, "The state, Tommy? What about the money they give you?"

"They don't give us anything, Chuck."

"You said they'd be giving you money until Dil turned 25."

"I lied. They never gave us anything. I didn't want to have everyone worry. After the accident, the bus company paid for the hospital bills, a few grand for damages…Mom and Dad, they only had an insurance policy for Dad because they couldn't afford policies for both of them. The insurance money paid for the funerals and that was pretty much it. The money from the house bought this place and we had some left over and it lasted for a while but when Dil got accepted to Berkeley… He was so proud of himself. He'd always wanted to go there, y'know. So he got accepted and the last of the money went to his first term… but everything is so expensive out there." Chuckie sat back and let it sink in. No wonder Tommy had gotten that job right after the accident. Chuckie had thought it had more to do with Tommy's need to be busy and active, not about the money. His thoughts turned to Charlotte and Drew.

"Nobody else knows." Tommy said, reading his mind.

"Why Tommy? I'm sure Char and Drew could've helped out."

"I didn't want to bother them. It wouldn't be fair to put that burden on somebody else."

"Tommy that wasn't your burden to bear either! You were only 17!"

"But Dil was my responsibility! I made him an orphan Chuckie! I ruined his life." Tommy sighed, "I have to make up for it."

"It wasn't your fault! How many times do I have to tell you that? It was not your fault!"

"God." Tommy buried his face into his knees and groaned. They sat there for a moment and Chuckie looked at his best friend, his exhaustion apparent in his face and he had to fight back tears that came from nowhere in particular, managing to blink them away before Tommy noticed.

He pulled himself up and sat next to Tommy on the bed, and then in the most neutral tone he could muster, he asked, "What about the drugs Tommy?"

"I don't use them as much as you might be thinking," he sighed, "or for the reasons. My doctor gave me the antidepressants after the accident. He said it's not my fault I'm depressed. Something about the stress of the situation and I've had a chemical imbalance ever since. The vicodin… I've been getting really bad migraines for a year or so. They don't go away, light hurts, and sometimes I just can't move cause it's so bad… I went to my doctor and after we tried a couple of other pain relievers, he started prescribing the vicodin. He doesn't give me any refills so I have to see him every time I need more and that way he can monitor how many I'm using.

"It's also been hard for me to sleep, which is why I have the sleeping pills… it's just really hard for me to get to sleep sometimes and when I do, I wake up in the middle of the night and can't go back to sleep." Tommy stopped and Chuckie allowed him a small break, before pressing onward.

"The weed?"

"Weed's really not that bad." Tommy said, turning and giving him a small smile. Chuckie stared at him and his smile widened just a bit, "It's not."

"But it is illegal and if you get caught carrying that-"

"Most cops don't even care as long as you're not holding enough to sell." Tommy interrupted and Chuckie was sure he was just messing with him now.

"That's beside the point."

"I know, I'm teasing you." Tommy smiled, "This is going to sound horribly cliché, but… I'm holding it for a friend."

Chuckie gave a small laugh before grabbing Tommy around the shoulders and giving him a quick squeeze, "If you were anyone else, I wouldn't believe you, but because you're Tommy, I'll let you slide." They sat like that in a companionable silence for the first time in a long while. Chuckie let the heat from Tommy's shoulder warm his hand. And then he remembered everything that had been said leading up to their conversation and slowly he pulled his hand away.

"Tommy? About before?" he asked and his friend glanced over and looked away even more quickly before standing.

"Yeah. Sorry about that. I just really didn't want to talk about this. I didn't. I was scared. I'm sorry." He started toward the door, "I'll make us some coffee okay?"

"Yeah… okay." Chuckie watched his friend leave the room and then collapsed against the bed, trying to ignore the feeling of dismay that had settled in his stomach and what it might mean. He wasn't really disappointed that Tommy didn't feel that way right? Shouldn't he be relieved? He didn't honestly like Tommy like that, after all, he wasn't gay. He wasn't. So really… what was he feeling?


	13. A Late Realization

So, again it's been awhile, I sincerely apologize. I have one final chapter (an epilogue) although I could probably, technically just end it here. But yeah, okay. I admit, I know I'm not the best writer, but yeah, R&R por favor!

Also if there are any glaringly obvious mistakes... I'm simply too lazy to go back and check it now.

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Chuckie leaned against the doorframe and watched his friend move silently about the kitchen as he started their coffee and then pulled out the ingredients for pancakes. Tommy caught his gaze and gave a small, almost hesitant smile before turning back to his work. The older man sighed and ran his hand through his hair, mentally replaying everything that had happened in the last week. Retracing all the words and actions that had been bothering him. The moments that the two had shared and the constant game of emotional tug of war that Tommy insisted on playing. Whatever Tommy might say, he was not okay, far from it. But how was _he_ supposed to fix someone that fixed everyone? A pain, like a pinched nerve, settled in between his shoulder blades and he rotated one of his shoulders to ease it out. He couldn't return to D.C. as if nothing had happened. He couldn't leave his friend to mire about alone and risk him sinking even further into the muck.

And then his thoughts shifted to the little almost-moments that he and Tommy had shared in the last week, so-called because they were moments that nearly exceeded the normal amount of intimacy. Most notably, he remembered the way Tommy had tucked him in that second night, the warmth of Tommy's hand when they had touched at the hospital, and the way they constantly held each others gaze for longer than was normal, or necessary.

He was shaken from his thoughts when his cell phone beeped, alerting him to a text message. Feeling exhausted, although he'd gotten plenty of sleep, he looked down the phone. He frowned at the number. He didn't recognize it, although it seemed vaguely familiar and then he recalled it as the one Kimi had been using and he opened the message.

**Yo howd it go? Gimme a call I'm worried**

He glanced toward Tommy who was still focused on their breakfast. Maybe just doing his best to ignore his presence and forget the situation. He almost wished that they both could. His gaze flickered briefly back to the phone in his hand before returning to fix on his friend. As he watched Tommy start to mix the batter the need to communicate with someone outside the situation suddenly seized him.

"Hey, I'm going to give Kimi a call, okay?" Tommy's head jerked up at this, a look of worry on his face, mouth already forming words. Chuckie preempted him, "I wont tell her anything." The younger man nodded slowly, although he looked unconvinced. Chuckie waited for him to say something else but when his friend remained silent, he moved to leave the house, reopening his cell phone as he did so. Kimi answered on the first ring.

"Glad to see you survived the storm." She said, a hint of questioning beneath the light tone. For only a second he was irritated at the fishing, and then he realized the need to talk outweighed the minor irritation. Leaning against his car with eyes fixated on the house, he told her what he could, doing his best to leave out his discovery of the medication and the weed, relying more on Tommy's emotional instability. He hesitated when he got to Tommy's "revelation." This was what he really wanted to talk about, but he wasn't sure how Kimi would respond, or how he wanted her to. Their lunch date came to mind when Kimi had mentioned Tommy's problems and had brought up his name, and then feigned ignorance. As Kimi prodded him now, his silence having gone on for almost a minute, he decided that he would risk her reaction. And when he told her, his sister surprised him.

"Well that's not really a surprise is it?" She laughed.

"What?" he tried to keep his tone even, and failed. Silence greeted him as Kimi faltered, and even through the dead air, he could picture the unease on her face. "Kimi!?"

"Oh for the love of… please tell me you knew! I mean, that's why you went away isn't it?! To give him time to get over you? Right?" Kimi moved the phone away and a faint string of curses made it to his ears, she brought it back to her mouth and demanded, "Well?!"

"What are you talking about?" The phone was suddenly slick in his hands and his heart was beating in his ears.

"Damn! Damn! Damn!" she cursed again, "I thought you knew! It was so obvious, how couldn't you!? Hell, he's been pining after you since high school. You are so dense!" But Chuckie had stopped listening, his heart lodged in his throat and his hands shaking violently from a sudden surge of adrenaline. His thoughts raced as he frantically tried to make sense of this discovery. He flashed once more to all the almost-moments and then with sudden clarity, he recalled incidences from all the way back to high school where they'd hugged a second too long or touched the other for no real reason or just held the others hand, things that seemed just to natural to them. He knew suddenly why neither of them ever questioned these almost-moments. It had felt natural because it was natural. It was meant to be. _They _were meant to be. Now if he only had the courage to do something about it.

"Hey Kimi, let me call you back." His voice came out steady and he was genuinely surprised that it didn't waver.

"You… wont do something stupid?" she asked, hesitant.

"No. Quite the opposite." He said, and hung up, resolve settling deep in his gut as he strode toward the house. Once he stepped into the kitchen, it promptly dissipated, and when Tommy looked up at him, his knees threatened to buckle. Suddenly terrified, He turned his back to his friend and took a deep breath. How the hell was he supposed to do this? The scrape of a chair against the linoleum alerted him to Tommy moving. Chuckie spun around to the younger man who was half-standing, a look of concern on his face.

"Chuck? Are you-?"

"Just give me a second?" he said, speaking both to Tommy and the part of himself that was telling him to get it over with. After a moments' hesitation, Tommy settled back into his chair, still watching him, eyebrows furrowed in confusion. Once more, Chuckie turned his back to his friend and struggled to come up with the words. How did one go about telling their best friend that they'd loved them since the very beginning but hadn't really known it until just that moment? Finally, he turned to speak but his voice caught in his throat and he knew there was only one way to do this.

He strode forward before he could lose his nerve (if he had any at all, it kind of felt as though his body was moving under its own free will). Tommy leaned back as he advanced, a flicker of fear crossing his face and he actually flinched when Chuckie reached him. The redhead planted his hands firmly on the armrests and leaned down to give his best friend a firm kiss on the lips. He pulled away to find Tommy gaping at him, in obvious shock. When he said nothing, Chuckie came close again, but Tommy jerked back, eyes still wide. Panic raced up his spine as doubt chilled his heart. Had he gotten it wrong? Had Kimi misinterpreted Tommy's feelings? They stared at each other for a long awkward, frozen moment.

"Why are you doing this?" Tommy spoke finally, his voice cracking and his eyes shone with unshed tears. Chuckie faltered, even more unsure.

"Because I love you…"

"No!" Tommy interrupted, and he held his hands in front of him as if to created a barrier, "I mean-if you're- if you don't mean it. If you're just doing it to make me feel better, because you feel sorry for me… I, I can't handle that. I'm not strong enough to handle that." His voice cracked and tears slipped from his beautiful eyes to prove his point. Chuckie gave a small, gentle smile and reached up to wipe them away with his thumb. Tommy leaned into it, just slightly, but enough for Chuckie to know.

"I would never do that." He said earnestly and leaned down to kiss him again, "I've loved you since the beginning. I just never knew it." Tommy gave a tiny desperate gasp and then reached up to grab the front of his shirt and pull him down for another kiss. One that sent a warm sensation to the pit of his stomach, and which threatened to become something more, if he didn't stop the heat that had suddenly taken hold of him. He pulled away, just so their mouths had separated, but he kept his forehead pressed lightly against Tommy's. He spoke without knowing what he was going to say and his words shocked the both of them.

"I want you to move in with me." Tommy stared at him, once again speechless. However, he continued, excitement taking over as the possibilities ran away with him, "Yeah, yeah, you could go back to school, I could work for the both of us. I mean my apartments small, but I have money saved up. Hell, enough for a down payment on a house. We could even get something big enough for Dil, and then once you finish up with school… well can just go from there." Chuckie grinned, already thinking about how life could be, the two of them together. Tommy gave a helpless sort of shrug and managed a small half-shake of his head.

"But…" Tommy waved a hand around the kitchen, "We've just barely… We don't even know if this.. if this can work. What _this _even is. And I can't just go to D.C. I don't think I want to… I can't, we can't."

"Tommy, do you love me?" he asked and Tommy gave him a sad smile.

"More than anything."

"Then that's all that matters!" He said and knelt in front his friend, holding Tommy's hands tight in his, "Everything else we can figure out as we go along. What happened to our little adventurer? All that excitement for the unknown?" Tommy said nothing, just stared down at their intertwined hands.

"Tommy? Look, are you happy here? With your life the way it is?" his friend simply shook his head, tears refreshed, "Then let's change it. We're both scared. I know, but… life sucks, for the both of us, so let's do something about it! We don't have to go to D.C. We can go anywhere! Where do you want to go? Do you want to stay in town?"

"Chuck. This… this is crazy. We can't just do this! This isn't how it works!"

"How what works? We can make it work, whatever we do!" and he brought Tommy's hands to his lips and kissed them softly, "And you want to know how I know? Cause we'll be doing it together." Tommy gave a gentle laugh as tears slipped down his cheeks and he wrapped his arms tight around Chuckie, burrowing his face into the crook of his neck.

Before they pulled apart, Tommy whispered in his ear, "That was horribly, terribly corny." And the two friends laughed, Tommy still half-crying, both knowing that it was going to be okay.

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Hmmm.... I feel almost sappy...

R&R my faithful readers. :)


	14. Finally Together

Finally. I know. To be honest, the only reason I got around to this, was due to my inability to sleep as of late.

I am now an official college grad (just an AA, but whatever). Anyway. I believe that's it. Please ignore any mistakes as I'm not quite in a clear state of mind (sleep deprivation and all).

Please Enjoy! R&R =)

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The next few weeks passed in a whirlwind of activity. Tommy and Chuckie sat down and had a long conversation about what they both wanted from life, and each other, and once everything was put out into the open, they knew what they had to do.

They decided on moving out of their hometown, if only to get away from the bad memories, which is probably what Tommy needed all along. Well, that, and someone to help hold him together.

They agreed to move west, not to California (since it would be too expensive) but just along the Nevada border where they could be closer to Dil, and still far enough away from home that it was a change.

Chuckie went back to work three days before his required vacation was up and told his boss that he was quitting. She surprised him, yet again, by smiling and telling him, "Good for you." And then, with a patient smile, she continued, "I know you aren't happy here, doing this, and you're too good a person to be unhappy." Then he surprised himself by giving her a swift, thankful hug. She laughed when he left, red-faced and apologetic.

His lease was good for only another month, so he told his landlord he wouldn't be renewing and they had his apartment empty after only half a day. Tommy hired a realtor to sell his house and then spent the next few days scouring the internet for cities and houses. He had an odd look of pride on his face when he showed Chuckie a three bed/two bath house in a cozy suburb that was perfect.

They told Chaz and Kimi only a week before they left and swore them to secrecy. Tommy wanted to tell Dil before it could get to him through someone else.

Chaz took the news better than expected; sitting there on the couch, mouthing wordlessly for several seconds before practically exploding out of his seat in some weird expression of joy. Absolutely delighted, he began planning out their next holiday together in detail, and then, suddenly he let loose a barrage of intimate questions that made both of the younger men squirm.

Kimi took it much more calmly and she simply grinned and patted the both of them on the cheek as she declared, "This might be more interesting if it actually changed anything."

The night before they left, they had dinner with the Pickles, Chaz, Kimi, Phil and even Howard and Betty. Charlotte and Chaz both cried when they all hugged good-bye.

Early, the next morning, they packed all that they had into a U-haul truck, towing Chuckie's car, and Tommy following in his. They stopped for lunch and dinner, making fools of themselves as they laughed and teased each other, caught in a euphoric state that refused to abandon them.

They'd called ahead and talked to the realtor selling the house and so when they arrived, the empty house was waiting; a fake, plastic rock holding the key to their new lives.

The next couple of weeks were spent unpacking, job hunting, and becoming better acquainted with each other. Chuckie learned that Tommy had a ticklish spot at the crook of his neck and if he brushed it just right, he could send him into an endless fit of giggles. That is, until he succumbed to laughter himself. Tommy discovered that the quickest way to turn Chuckie on was to smile at him from under his eyelashes and crook his finger at him. They soon discovered that the physical aspect of their relationship was not nearly as awkward as they had feared, and that they both enjoyed showering together in the morning.

Tommy applied for admission to a nearby college and spoke with a financial aid advisor and had his schedule ready for the next term, just several weeks away. Chuckie found a job at a local oil refinery that started him training right away, with the probationary pay just below that of what he was making at his old job, and the promise of even more once he was trained. He still wasn't sure if it was something he wanted to do for life, but it was definitely a cozy job, for the time being.

It was too soon the day before Dil was meant to fly in from school. Tommy was scheduled to pick him up from the airport the next morning. So, Chuckie and Tommy were enjoying the last day they would have alone for awhile. They'd started off watching a favorite movie together on the couch, but soon they were both on the verge of naked and utterly breathless, as they explored each other's bodies for the millionth time, but which somehow always seemed like the first. Chuckie was leaning over Tommy, raining gentle kisses down on his bare chest and enjoying the taste of him when,

"Oh holy hell! My eyes! Oh god! My eyes!" Chuckie felt himself literally _fly _off the couch at the voice. In the doorway, stood a familiar lanky, curly haired redhead wearing an oversized pair of sunglasses, a tie-dye t-shirt with cut-off sleeves, a pair of cameo cargo pants, and a look of complete and utter shock and amusement.

"Dil?!" Tommy squawked and Chuckie seemed to remember that he was wearing only a pair of briefs and scrambled for a nearby pillow to cover himself.

"Well, now, when you said that you two were going to be living together, I didn't know you meant you two would be _living together._" He said, a wry smile coming over his face.

"We can explain-!"

"No need bro." Dil interrupted throwing his hands up, "I only have two things to say;

One, hurry up and pay my impatient taxi driver and be sure to rescue the luggage he's taken hostage, and two, congratulations, it's about damn time." His smile broadened at their expressions and the two lovers exchanged a bewildered, red-faced look before Tommy stood in a dazed fashion and found his pants, pulling them on. Once he left the room, Dil came forward and leaned over him, as he squirmed in discomfort.

"Now, I love you dearly Chuckie Finster, but this is just a standard, necessary warning; If you hurt my brother, you'll be paying for it for a very, _very _long time." Chuckie closed his still open mouth and nodded slowly as the smaller, younger man clasped a hand on his shoulder and laughed.

The End

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Hope you all liked it. Please tell me what you think. Also, California just suits Dil, doesn't it? Lol.


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